mianbaoo

GAH

2006-09-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

to whoever who reads this: dun ask me for details. i will tell u if u need to know. but im jus venting out my frustrations. HAHA.

to those bazooka nanny hut ski pple. DAMN NAJI. HELLO. theee warld ice oonfar.and my dei rear arsh bytch. i think whee mossh sheel b so posh die arsh. asshole. she sumarai siew org gee.(oops) stelled whah neh floo art tye. oohhhh miee gar ward.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAhAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHa

SRESSED UP. NAN HUA PRELIMS SUCKS (: auricle (:

2006-06-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

I never knew why i said such things.
wont u even hate me.
wont u even leave me.
arent u tired of my nonsense already.
arent u hurt by my remarks.
dont u want to abandon me.
dont u want to slap me.
why no?

im so afraid.
he'll take me away some day.
so afraid.
i just want you to find happiness before he takes me away.
seriously i do.
i dun wan u to get hurt.
never will i want to see you get hurt.

DADDY cant u see
im struggling so hard.
cant u let me be
do u have to pull me apart.
i pray not.
in your ways. i want to abide.
but thr are rules i have to defy.
my love never felt so strong.
cant u jus let me be.

to #09

ive done so many things against my will.
in hope u wld lose faith.
ive said so many things against my will.
in hope u wld lose trust.
ive tried my very best.i rilly did.
but we still cant be apart.
sorry i love you too much.
the deeper my love.
the deeper the hurt.
i love you.

#04

2006-06-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

ENCOUNTER THE HOLY SPIRIT (:
I LOVE THE CAMP. missing it like crazy now (:
made so many new brothers and sisters. THANK GOD.

hee (: first day. hee. went with the westA girls (: cindy cindy rocks. den blah blah. ONE ROOM TO ONE (: so shiok right?!? LOL. YHOPE (: den we had telematch. HEE. northwest (: nanny nanny poo poo. champions (: hm. yah. yuqian n asha finally came back. and met up with yongmei and kaining. after dinner. we had like 2 teachings oh my. almost slept. den altar call (: hee. SHEPHERDS APPRECIATION NIGHT. i rilly wanted to thank GOD for yuqian. yepp. HEE (: and i want to be a shepherd myself (:

headed to sch first on 2nd day. came back during district/unit huddle. LOL. yepp it was fun telling the others i am from library. HAHAHA. den. i duno why everything dragged again. so we had praise and worship (: hee. v long. and teaching. ALTAR CALL on second night was gr8 (: very very very. hmms. den back to our rooms. i got tau pok so many times. and we tricked the 2 gongs into the game. LOL. den talk to dear. HAHA. but i slept. den left asha and yongmei to entertain her. SORRY DEAR. yepp. slept with yongmei la. ): HAHA.

lala. third day was GREAT (: HEE. but im too tired to type what happen alr. HEE.
so yah. lazy me. so u all cant share my JOY (: LOL. prob typing later? HAHAS. yah.

A SITUATION HAPPENED. A MIRACLE HAS TAKEN PLACE. I BET SO MANY PPLE HAS PRAYED FOR THIS SITUATION TO HAPPEN. no matter what. I WILL FOLLOW HIM. GOD. I WANT TO FOLLOW U in whatever u want to do (: I LOVE JESUS.

the RAIN

not jus any kind of rain. we're talking about divine spiritual rain.
not from the clouds in the sky but from the gates of heaven.
not onto earthly soil but onto the hearts of GOD's people.

and not some miserable measly drizzle that drops unevenly
it'll be an overwhelming heavy downpour that soaks the
very core of our being that drenches our dry and thirsty land.

i want to be that RAIN. even one drop is enough.

to #09
<3
no words to express how much i love you
and
i cant afford to lose you.
we'll pray for the 2Cs
muack <3

from #04

(:

2006-05-28T03:44:00.000-07:00

long break. (:
break from my thoughts.
ive sorted everything out. yepp. i think. lol.
first priorities (:
GOD
O levels
JIAN FEI
FRIENDS
and her (:

i feel ive jus waken up from a long long dream. i cant seem to rmb what happened. everything's change. everything's different. lala~ cus i have YOU. #09.

PTC was bad (: LOL. i met like 2 teachers and the principal. hmm. i know i should be gettin my A's. i'll try. yah. i'll try for GOD for TEACHERS for PARENTS and for MYSELF (: 5 more months. <3 wish me luck peeps (:
im quieter than before (: <---- by MR FONSEKA (:

to #09
thanks for everything u have done. i enjoyed the nights out with you (: i love talking (: HEE. yepp. and i love you alot alot alot. i miss you like crazy even i only didnt see u for one day. (: hmm. you've conquered my life (: wo hen <3 ni.
look into my eyes
u would see
what u mean to me (:
muah <3
everything i do
i do it for you (:

its the start of the holidays (: YIPPEE. im gonna study hard but play hard too (:
I cant wait for CAMP (: WORSHIP!!! yepps. and hee. i cant wait to spend my nights shaking my ass away (: and the time i want to spend with my beloved TAI YANG (: hee.

some people i would like to thank for the month:

YIQI ZIYI JASMINE JIAJUN NAICHUNG YANGPING (: thanks for being my team mates during the netball games (: yepps. 5 more months. it wld be hard to play ball together alr. ): SOBS.

761 (: thanks for being thr when i was crying so hard. thanks for encouraging me. my grades would improve (: i promise. thanks for the laughter and running in the rain (: I DONT WANT TO SAY GOODBYE.

ASS (: hugs. some things cant be expressed by words. my GREAT confidant. i love you girl.

JOYCE YONGMEI KAINING SHARON JES WEIWEI (: tho im not sure if we'll get into bring it on. but yah. this dance had rilly brought me closer to you sisters in christ. tho we're from diff groups. BUT I RILLY ENJOYED the times with you pple (: THANK GOD FOR EVERYONE OF YOU (: EACH AND EVERY ONE.

YUQIAN GWEN (: i know u people care about me alot. thanks (: i miss the times with you (:

MR SHEN (: hey xi gua mei. LOL. distant from u quiet alot alr. ya. catch up some day and study v v v hard ok. HAHAH. hope u'll find ur miss/mr right soon ya?
zui mei de ai qing wang wang ding ge zai hui yi li... (: such a sad phrase.

#09
I CANT UNTHINK ABOUT YOU
I CANT UNFEEL YOUR TOUCH
I CANT UNHEAR ALL THE WORDS
I CANT UNSAY ALL THE THINGS
THAT USED MEAN SO MUCH
I WISH I COULD ALWAYS REMEMBER
EVERYTHING MY HEART HAS BEEN THRU'
IM FINDIN OUT
ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO
ITS NO USE
I CANT UNLOVE YOU.

i love you so much

#04

(:

2006-05-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

hui jia de lu shang
wo ku le
yan lei zai yi ci beng kui le
wu neng wei li
zhe yang zou zhe
zai ye bu gan jiao ao she qiu le

wo hen xiang. hui dao guo qu.
I miss alot of things. alot alot alot. i feel so useless now. I miss God. I miss Dance. I miss yuqian. I miss west B one. I miss ... alot. why is my life manipulatated my so many unnecessary things which dont even bring good to my life? why am i giving in to these temptations. why am i crying over split milk now. it was all my own doings. now im so sad. im going to church later. i want to feel Goc back again. i dun wanna lose this relationship anymore. sorry lord. sorry sorry sorry.

ive stained all my books. my mouse. my keyboard. my hands with my tears. pls forgive me lord. i know you would. but im feeling very sorry for myself. i dun feel like finishing the race alr. can i stop? im tired. i jus feel like falling into a deep sleep now. its painful.

ive to swallow my tears and fake a smile. i dun wan to make anyone sad. esp. her. but i cant control this morning anymore. 130506. ive to shout it out.

okays. i type until thr. den i talk to her.
now laughin my head off alr. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
thanks MR SHEN ((((: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
=D.

to #09.
wo <3 ni. hen <3 ni.

=D

2006-05-02T20:06:00.000-07:00

apparently. i skipped school today. its 1104am now. and i finished two chapters of SS (: so its proven that staying at home was a better choice (: LOL. im so dead. yepp. okay. but i feel so bad about lying to FONSEKA. who called my hse (: LOL. hee. sorry my <3. LOL. u pass the gift to JAN first la (: ehs. yah.

i jus passed my sweet sixteen birthday. hmm. =D thank you LORD. yepp. but wo zhen de bu xiang zhang da at all. so sad. grr (:

THANKS 761 (: i truly love the photo frame =D so meaningful. yepp. and the coconut. and the AH BONG hp strap.HAHAHAHA. we shall open another one the next time we go SENTOSA!
and my babelicious ASS (: and b-link and mr chan. (: THANKS so much. for the banana choco cake and the necklace and bookmark and the scented candles (: YAY!
and mr shen thanks for the whatever u call it bottle and the SWEETS (: and yiling and kailin for the v v v chio myuk wallet =DDD and kuku bao for the chip (: and kayve for her sincerely drawn cards (: the 2Cs for the keychain (: cherie for the SWEET machine HAHAHAHA.
thanks for all the birthday wishes from...yah. hen duo ren. esp. from the pri sch pple! its 4 years alr. and u still rmb my day =D LOL. xiexie <3 we'll meet up v soon ya?!?!? YAY! I LOVE THEM.

and her (: thanks for everything. <3 (: and stop the GREEN adidas! lol. wo <3 ni.

zui mei li de wei xiao
shi ming ming zhi dao tong
dan hai shi yao xiao chu lai
yin wei bi mian na ge shang hai
er zi ji ren shou yi qie
xiao yi xia
yuan lai ke yi zu zhi yi qie (:

OKAY. my mid years coming (: i want to study. BYE. (:
i miss DANCE. i miss CHURCH. i miss GOD. i miss LIFE.

(:

2006-04-29T08:35:00.000-07:00

i wanna be a bitch for one day. someone teach me how. (: LOL.

yahs. i think i jus lost a screw. i cried while reading someone's blog. and i started to think of FONSEKA (: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. so im laughin like a mad hyena now. LOL. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. and i rmbed the talk with mrs chiang 761 and 2 4/7ers this aft at the staff lounge. LOL! hilarious!!! ming ming jiu shi xia yu. still must put snow. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. den we played bball. and i scored (: LOL. was practically screaming like siao zha bor. HAHAHAHAHA. okays. feng ler feng ler feng ler. den we talked about the change we wld predict to see after 10 years.WAHAHAHAHA. they say i wld become dance instructor (: YAY. hahas. den we cab to clementi. THE AUNTY so good. she sheltered us to the TAXI (: HEE. den yah. jiu zhe yang. we went to eat. (: den.. yah. played with ICE (: hee. ok. blah blah blah. kh and datou went hmm hor. ziyi. yq. went home. i went home too! cus i was feeling sick to go ballet. ): MELODY! oh my poor MELODY. hahas. den ya. i went to sleep. den i woke up to do GEOG. den i went j8 (: HEE. yahs. i bought MATHS tys. can u imagine. i bought maths tys. both maths. WOW (: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
and im going hysterical now. cus of the word XI GUA MEI. hahahahahahahhaahahahahahahhahahahaha, i still rmb when we called da tou MANG GUO MEI. HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. bonkers bonkers bonkers. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAhAAHAAHHAHAA. mrs siew today. HAHAhAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. NAI MA MEI. hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahaahahahhahahahahahaha.

ohya. ytd. performance was rilly bad. hurhur. nvm. we'll leave with a good name anyw. HEE. and thanks to 761 for bringin that lu chi to sch (: hmm.

to you: kor. sorry ive disappointed you. but ya. i dun wan to control myself now. sorry. if u see this. tell him sorry too. jiu. yah. bu yao guai wo. qi wo ler ): dui bu qi.

hmms. WO ZHI DAO. wo zhi dao. wo zhi dao. WO FENG LE. hahahahahahs. if u are talking to me now online. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA. i think u wld want to bang me into the wall. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

i shall blog a proper one tmr. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

2006-04-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

(:

i cried a whole lot last night. (: i flopped down on the seat. closed the door. and started crying like nobody business. WAHA. and i started laughin my head off aft that.
i realized i was quite silly to think so much. nothing last in the world. not even the strongest relationship. so why bother? now end. next time end. still end. chang tong bu ru duan tong. so what xin tong. also cannot tell susan . zhi hao zi ji ren zhu. zi ji xue hui pa qi lai. zi ji kan zhe UGLY the world (: thrs nobody u can trust except urself. (: i hate the world. its ugly. and i hate love. its fake (: but every1 still needs it. dang.

TODAY. yahs. i saw another side of an ugly friendship in the morning. i told u every1 cared for their own interest only. HURHUR. i dun wanna speak abt it anymore. den LESSONS. i scored miraculously well for BIO. yah. rily well. GAHS. slap myself (: i almost fell asleep in SS and physics. slacker. GAH. it was GEOG test (: LOL. and im pissed with myself. so pissed. ! and it was MATHS. tan came in late so i had time to chat with ASS. yahs. i miss my old life so much. seriously i do. xiang hui dao guo qu.

thanks ASS KOK DATOU LIZA ZIYI for accompanying me thru the journey to clem. WAHA. we had fun in the NTUC. LOL.
i met her (: and mr shen. and the cute (: LOL.
i like her presence. yepps.
and i <3 her alot. (: 1704.

but apparently someone means more to her like the person/contact she has in her HP. dat she forgot our book. hurhur.

HAO XI HUAN NI
ZHI BU ZHI DAO (:

2006-04-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

ai ni
rang wo hen lei.
wo xiang gao shu zi ji
zhen de lei le
bu yao zai ai le.
dan wo jiu shi zuo bu dao.
yin wei
ai ni
tai shen le.

2006-04-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

GOD. help. give me a sign.

i know its a sin to self-inflict. but. i couldnt find a way out. seriously. and. i jus realized im EVIL. probably ure torturing me now by puttin me in this situation. i know. and i will think thru. you gave me thots to anger my friends. to upset my friends. maybe. u jus wan me to go away from them so that they wouldnt know me and live a happier life. i guess so. okie. thank you LORD. i wan to thank u as i realized i have many places i must improve.

actually. i duno what im dng. i jus wan to make life difficult for pple. yah. tats me. so ugly. but who cares. life's so fragile. and i dun deserve love. at all.

my tears are always on the verge of flowin down my cheeks. but each time i tried to control i ended up cutting myself. so dumb. but i cant cry u see. i prob be seen and they would soon see my cuts. that wld be. deadmeat.

LIFE been rilly harsh. i know ive committed a great deal of sin. i cant ask for salvation. i duno wanna lose GOD neither i wan to lose my friends. but. the reality is harsh i know.i know. ive to chose my way. by faith and not by sight.

GOD. i love you more than a great deal of anything. but. i .. ): dui bu qi.

theres still a long week ahead. No. 4 days. before i can get real mad. yahs. 4 days.
yea. im trying my best to avoid my frens. i dun wanna hurt. neither cause pain. im trying so hard lord. pls help me overcome my temptation to meet with pple that duno me inside out. im trying hard!!! but i know i can. i alr. pushed away my date tmr. (: YAY. wash my tears LORD. i know u will give me HOPE and smth to occupy myself tmr afternoon (: i trust u will. cus i dun wanna end up by my table crying (:

YAY.
im gonna start my new life as of tmr.
cleanse me JESUS.
i want to do whats right.

wo bu zhi dao
zi ji
shi fo
zhi de rang ren qu ai.

(:

2006-04-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

YTD DANCE WA SUPER FUN (: cus it was a MAD DAY with ziyi and vivien. HAHA. the BBALL match we watched sure brought us many laughters of the day (:
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.
FLAG DAY (:
thanks mr shen for botherin to call me @ 6. my baby happily woke up at 6.21am. and ziyi. xie xie (: anyw. yah. maybe too much time le ba. i took like an hour before being ready to leave the house. HMM. ): den i started my sewin on the bus. (((: i know im mad. den listen mp3 and sms till i reached SCH. and guess who i saw agn. GRR! jiu walk walk walk to sch. lucky i can go in. cus i was not properly attired. hmms. duno. in sch so ZI HIGH. den wave and lame with alot pple. and FONSEKA look so cute in that ZOO shirt. HURHURS. den 761 walk to clem. met bro yp n tpl on the way. jiu.. wo zi ji go tampines ler. (: while they go JEC. errs. yah. met jiajing yanmei weixin etc. on the train. and i realized my beloved JAN was at paya lebar! LOL. yepp. the train ride was boring agn. and set me STONING. but i was amused by the lil BOY (:
OK. i love flag day. u jus look at the expressions on PPLE. HAHAHA. conclusion for today: the MALAY aunties/uncles are the kindest PPLE arnd tampines. those CHINESE auntie/uncle very NIAO. den i met that sun. jiu. yah (:
i called to 761 but yah. they were separated. hmms. lucky that MISS hwee kah chng was found. XIA WO. hmms. went sch with ASS. AI REN. MOK and SOON. and her. HAHAH. yah yah yah. SI AUNNY is a GOOD MAN. he help 406 return the tins lah. they so evil to him. NVM. si aun is a good man. (((:
we went to ORCHARD to see MR SHEN. HAHA. she so ke ai. my phone got quite alot of her photos. LOL. BELINDA is cute! hmms. today. i did not see any shuai zha bor. so sad! LOL. nvm. OH YA. if u ever see this. THANKS for the mianbaochaoren cookies. real sweet and cute. LOL. left at 4. hmm yah. BELINDA IS CUTE!
the way to ballet i slp until quite shuang. HAHA. hmm. u know. LOL.
BALLET! i got my ribbons right. !!! but yah. MISS PHUA real PMS. and my toes hurt like mad. amanda and vivianna. duno what the hell happened la. =X. MELODY! ok. she was finally here. i miss her loads. (:
tmr. gng bro lim hse do PROJ. and meetin sun b4 that. HAHA (: ok. SORRY QINZHEN! have to postpone our date agn!!!

#10. if u ever feel like jumping
pls bring me along.
i'll gladly jump with you (:

the rain <3 the sun ALOT ALOT ALOT.

(:

2006-04-01T05:12:00.000-08:00

hen lei. hen tong. hen.. dui bu qi.

to my da ge- tho u may not even see this. but dui bu qi. zhen de. i thot abt it v carefully alr. and my ans was still yes to myself. dui bu qi.

to him-* wo zhi dao i make u v sad and wu nai. but also hen xie xie ni wei le wo du shu (: jia you (:

ytd DANCE hen hao wan (: thanks ZIYI. dear~~~ we made up a dance for our dear LOL. so ke ai. den ya. gonna dance speech day (: den can see michelle receivin prize. she so ke ai. (: HAHA. lucky ziyi fetch me to mrt. yah. i reached home quite late. lol. and someone went to other pple hse to sleep with 2 other somebodies. LOL

OK. sry i was late. to cute and cuttiest. (: HAHA. paiseh la. was tryin to catch dean on tv hahas. today i felt v weird wearin shorts. cus i feel girl today. ohwells. LOL. den ya. i missed church. agn. oops. im gonna make it next week unless it clashes with flag day. argh~ im so evil. feel like cuttin myself agn. but bu ke yi. (:

i felt stupid thinkin of it now. hahas. baoyi reminded me of yiling's incident and made me go laughin over the floor. now i think ler still hai xiang siao (: HAHAHA. i know i rock. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
stupid sun made me change. jiang bu yao le. hahas. nvm zui hou cute let wo wear over. hahas. (: hmms. i think the yew tee play ground quite fun. LOL. but i wan swing (: swing bi jiao hao wan. LOL. monday i think i ask baby go play swing with me aft sch (: YAY. aft today. i realized i shd still stick to dance. LOL. den jiu. YAY. i nv eat again. im so happy that i overcome my temptation these few days. LOL. maybe God think i too fat ler. LOL.
den i pia to ballet. LOL. wahs. i had the messiest hair ever. den i realized my shoes. nvm ): jiu. today miss phua mo wo de pi gu. ee yer. LOL. i realized my ballet deproved today. or was it becos i was too hungry. hmms. jiu. mei you li. yay. my pirourettes (: miss phua jiang hao (: den aft that talk abit with amanda. she went to HOPE (: LOL. but she didnt like it. ohwells. (: I SAW MEIYI along my way to BB.she was laughin at my stockings. nvm. monday i will rape her HAHA den i went to BB to meet the rest agn. they talk so long la. siao. jiu. yah hui jia. YAY. i walked home again. despite the pain at my toes. i still walked. YAY. and i managed to overcome the FOOD temptation agn. (((: i rock. LOl.
hmms. shd i go dance tmr? but it'll jus means another time of torture for my feet. gahs.

wo hen pang. zhen de hen pang. can anyone invent a machine which can slice off FATS?

shi xiang nian
cai hui rang wo bu zhi bu jue
di er ci ai shang le ni (:

rain <3 sun. (:

(:

2006-03-27T02:32:00.000-08:00

i miss GOD (: i miss myself. i miss alot of PPLE. i miss.. i miss.. i miss.. LIFE.

hereby. i want to thank LORD. i finished my study plan ler. HOPE everything goes well (: and ya. im smiling more nowadays. tho im smiling alot everyday ler. YEPP. thanks for the smiles uve gave me (: its a long time since i last BLOGGED. but ya. i thot my life changed drastically. (: PRAISE the lord.

i missed BALLET on sat. shit. GOD pls allow me to be punished.and i miss AMANDA! she can shake rilly well la. one day must go HIGH and shake with her. HAHA. instead i went the CSS and superband. hmm. yah. lol. when in line. we played ZHONG JI MI MA (: hahas. i tried alot of funny dares ler. and i even xi shen xing xiang go do this damn dumb and stupid action. KAILIN still mei you xiao rong. HAI. bai fei my xing xiang. LOL. lucky no one i fancy arnd. LOL. thanks kailin. yiling. baoyi. meiqi. shirlyn and huiling for spendin the day with me. extra thanks to yiling and baoyi for accompanyin me to superband. LOL. den ya. talked to CUTTIEST till v late. LOL.

ok. ytd we went to JEC library to share christ. (: HEHE. met yubing. and boyi and rutian. and fangyong and cherry and bernice and lusandra. and yah. LOL. me and kai ning went arnd. but yah. all so DAO de. jus realized jer also from NCC (: yay. sisters in christ (: roxanne was mad abt her legs. hmms. i felt distant from shepherd yuqian. tho we try hard to meet up and all. hai. i hope God will help us get back to how we used to be (: i saw TANIA (: so long nv see her liao. miss her loads. and asha v fierce ytd. HAHA. jolene thot i act cute la. tie 2 to sch. SIAO. i wanna declare that NAN HUA GIRLS HAVE TO TIE PLAITS. is not we want to act cute la. EE YER. den i went home. on the bus i actually cried unknowingly while listenin to a song. until i felt BAOYI msg. im gettin emotional agn. shucks.i rilly mugged for the rest of the day la. tho i was still chatting online. with CUTE and CUTTIEST plus some zhu peng gou you. HAHA.
ok. THANKS BABY for pei-ing me to do finish the chinese PROJ which i had to complete for all of u! LOL. and i went to change my frenster profile. LOL.

today! LOL. yay RAIN (: hen hao wan. today got triple science. damn sian. bt chem was practical and BIO v fun. so left with physics hurhur. during lunch. 761 went to play pepsi cola at the roof. den we sat down as we laughed too much till mei you energy ler. den started pouring. we didnt bother. LOL. den we compared butt size. LOL. cus the part whr we sat would be dry compared to the wet floor. HAHA. so ya. MEIYI the nai mei has the biggest butt. (: LOL. kahhwee and sinee ran across at first. so me meiyi liza and ziyi decided to play too. HAHA. jiu.. yah. damn drenched. my hair also DAO TA. LOL. so flat. den i use hand dryer blow but blow wrong direction. den become porcupine. LOL. and guess what? i went back to class to get my spray. FIANSAY say my hair v cute. LOL. so tmr i shall not put spray (: LOL. i love her so much. we jus chatted a whole stack of post me paper. HAHA. tink we're gonna finish the other half tmr. LOL. so much to crap. after sch. MATHS REMEDIAL. hai i forgot all my TRIGO liao la. DIE DIE DIE. den duno y me and liza thr laming arnd. HAHA. soon it was 330. den i dilly dallied arnd the sch. LOL. and guess who i met. JAN!!! so decided to sit bus with her to toa payoh. cus can meet my CUTTIEST thr. and jer. and siokxin and shuzhen came. LOL. i miss SISTAA BRAND (: so long nv go out together ler. HAHA. (: YAY. i kinda miss them alot. but today lack one person. BERVYN. lol. his heart duno fly whr ler. we went to eat. HAHA. (: pigs. den go ntuc buy fattening stuffs. but i only bought sweets. OK. hahas. jiu. meet CUTTIEST and jer. ler. we saw xiaomai. HEHE.

yay. another blessing. (: this mornin i was talkin about buying another a maths book cus i hate to carry the book to and fro every single day. ( that explains the nicely scotch-taped cover of my amaths ) den i met CUTTIEST den she said she can give me hers! YAH. blessings (: ta-dah (: i think GOD wanna thank me for sharing christ ytd (: but he prob punished me for skipping ballet by allowing not to go for tonights CSS. HAHA. oh wells. I love GOD (: hes my boyfren. LOL. dun steal.

i tried writing a song for a someone. but the lyrics din came up. LOL. shall try tonight again. HAHA.

MONDAY. a time to count the week's blessings:

found like 6 new true friends.
got closer to my cousin.
startin to MUG
started to pay attention
allowed me to share christ
and. what.
made resolutions for the year (:

the girl keeps running and running in my mind, isnt she tired?
i got this quote from a random website and i found it so sweet ((:

I MISS MY LIFE! i wanna do girls hip hop again! LOL. ohya. jus realized i'll be having BIO practical exam on my bday. how sweet (: imagine cutting up a kidney on my bday. so cool (: LOL. its 2 more months bef the HOLIDAYS (:

hahas. to cuttiest. i find it very hard and ma fan to type so long sia. LOL.
C U T T I E S T. hahas change name la.

wo ye hen xiang ta
wo men dou yi yang
zai ta de sheng shang
wo zhao dao chi pang (:

(:

2006-03-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

GAHS. my com sucks. yah. seriosuly it does.
anyw. WOW. i have so many BLESSINGS this week. PRAISE and THANK LORD (: firstly. ive truly enjoyed LIFE this few weeks. YEPP. apart from my results. hurhurs. actually was supposed to do filming ytd at 5 at esplanade. but it was postponed. so ya. HURRAY! i can go BALLET! (: went to church ytd at 11. sheeks. i was late. den had a talk by shirley about PASSION. yepp. 5 new pple (: den was service. i kinda felt weird. so long nv go church. hai. feeling bad. den ya. some things happened. anyw. was wearing the same combination with MISS KAINING. (: hahas. den ROSANNE was lol-ing her way thru dinner cum lunch. WA. were the 3R weets! went for ballet. i tot i was late at first cus ya. left later in order to spend more time with WB1. den i was NOT! YAH! another blessing. and i got my new shoes (: THANK GOD. aft that. the weather was threatening. DEN i phoned my parents they were coming to fetch me! YAY. u see. blessing! but i waited v long at ATTITUDE. hahas. MISS amanda could shake so well. kays. im jealous (: HAHAS. den hmms. WENT NTUC (: kkays i bot alot of things. seriously. GONNA GET FAT this hols. WOW. hee. den msn MY HIGH PARTNER thru the late night. i met a new friend YTD (: KAI LIN (: she added me. and ya. POOF! FRIENDS! she rocks la. yepp. OK. i wanna thank u Lord Jesus for bringin 9 new friends into my life this week (: yepp. another blessing was. my mom didnt want me to go back to sch den go home from a hotel at balestier aft social etiq. course. so ya. but mr fonseka did not allow that. so ya. i was praying so hard for the prob to be settled. yepp. in the end. my mom made a trip down. and ya. everything was FINE! yay. JESUS ROCKS (:
what i learnt from svr ytd was.
THERES A BLESSING IN EVERYTHING WE DO (: so trust in him and we will get out returns (:

TMR ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS. okays.
in the morning going with KAI LIN to find geraldine to pass her the present. can u believe. KAI LIN knows geraldine. another blessing. den aft that going MDC with SHEN LI miss high to watch CSS LIVE! see see see. so many blessings! YAY.

today gonna ROCK THE TOWN WITH MY BABY <3.and im gonna spend a whole lot. k la. i will control. PLS HELP ME! hahas.

tatas. im gonna go JOGGING NOW! hee.

I<3you (: to all out thr who knows me (: YAY.

i just sewn my BALLET shoes ribbons and ya i DIY my converse white shoes. shall post the pic of it here some day. HAHA. let y'all have a good laugh at my BRILLIANT art piece. (:

(:

2006-02-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

SHUCKS.
i felt i screw up my tests. BUT. im still studying.
anyw. GOOD NEWS. geradline GOT INTO the SEMIFINALS. REJOICE! my 6 bucks din go down the DRAIN (: hahas.
pretty HILARIOUS and MAD day for me. i practical blank out at the CHEM test. hahas. YAH. i din know how to do a single question. stupid sch. let me drop chem lA! den what. YAH. SS. dang. shut up.
obviously the PIGIFIED 7 of us. went down to RECESS first (: HAHAS. sat there and discuss abt CSS (: hmms. we were imitating the actions of some TOOTS* yah. laughed till my stomach burst into pieces. okay. den cont laughin our way up the stairs. STUPID BABY ans SINE. they were still mimicking and i con't laughin. FREAK. i did stomach exercise today. WOOTS!
den duno what happened to My ASS. but no matter what she is still MY ASS. so i tried all means to CHEER HER UP! hahas. YAY. GOD is with YOU. no matter what they say. and whoever did anything to you. cus U trust GOD and he will make things better (: wells. i hope u are not v affected by today! HAVE FAITH! i <3 you! i miss our old seatings!
met FONSEKA and MRS TAN aft school. ARGH.
ok. i did smth. STUPID on the way back home. i cabbed! shucks. jus to catch the REPLAY of CCS. im gettin BAD aint I? say yes. anyw. yepps. GERALDINE IS HOT! gogogo.
i wanted to study. but i slept.
den i woke up. i wanted to study. but i went to PIG.
den aft i PIG. i wanted to study. but i was stuck to this blardee com. its ADDICTIVE! just like GERALDINE (: hurs.
aft i broke free from the com. i wanted to study. and i rilly DID. YAY!
okays. thanks MR JARREl for sendin me JIA GEI WO (: cus its damn sweet. i meant the song. -.- YAH.
i finished GEOG. REJOICE! and here im typing my blog entry (: I MISS MY BLOG SO MUCH.

i was scrolling down at my tag board and i jus realized there are many PPLE in my LIFE im so GLAD to HAVE (:

SINEE.YINGQIU.ZIYI.MEIYI.LIZA.KAHHWEE.MYASSqinzhen.CARINE.PAMELA.YUQIAN.ASHA.TASHA.KAINING.
YONGMEI!!!.GWEN.WENDY!!.NICOLE.MINGYI.LINDA.CHELKWAN.HUISIAN.ALYCIA.CHELSEA.JACQUELINE.
TINGTING.WHEE.YAH.THATSMYBABES(:

new FOUND friend of the month. MR JARREL. fellow CSS watcher (: ADRIANOOOOO.
GERALDINE!!!!

AYL da GAY: hey. thanks for listening at times (: yepp. good advisory. FOC. LOL!

GOD!
iprayforutoclearallmythoughtsonunnessescarythings
LETMECONCENTRATEONMYWORK.
thanks(:
IWANTCHURCH!

i offcially missed 4 lessons of precious BALLET. gng 5. and 4 sessions of CHURCH. gng5. DANCE.tookawaymyLIFE.and time.

(:

2006-02-18T20:41:00.000-08:00

ok. i kissed 2 girls at the CHINGAY @ taman jurong last night. DAMN. LORD save me.

saw FIANSEH beloved ytd. yepp. GAHS. fianSEH help me!
and i actuall helped MISS KHO to find her MR KOH. see.they got CIRCLE (: miss kho was like so sad that she couldnt see him that day. maybe GOD wanted them to meet so badly that he sent down this message and allowed me to see the MR and went arnd to look for the MISS. (: lol. YAY. praise Lord. the elated face of MISS KHO rilly touched me. and her HUG. LOL. YAY.

i want to go back to church so badly. the saturdays are all taken up by CHINGAYs. GAH. i miss GOD. i miss hope ): i miss MYSELF feeling God's presence. i will make it to church next week (: and i'll study my best for common test.

imafraidofturningles.seriously.whyamiattractedtoshuaigers.whyamikissinggirlswhenifirstthoughtofitassodisgustin.why.shucks.shitshitshit.anditodayijuscaughtashowinthemorningaboutlesbian.gah.helpmesaveme.findmeashuaige.getmetolikeaguyagain.shucks.hydunievenfindthebachelorsissueofcleointeresting.whyhaveinoideatoseeshuaigeanymore.argh.

(:

2006-02-16T05:47:00.000-08:00

SHE's SO DAMN COOL RIGHT?
GERALDINE! VOTE FOR HER !

okays. life has been confusin for me. i think im turning BUTCH/LES. whatever. DANG DANG DANG.

ALYSSA: she rocks so much. more than anything on earth. YAY. my best dance jnr ferever (: i'll miss you like nobody's business. take care of NHDS and yepp. urself (: my LOVE.

2006-02-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

now i know the meaning of a TRUE friend.
at service today. pastor JEFF talked abt friendship. yepp. FRIENDSHIP. something i treasure so much yet i lose it easily. am i not accepting enough? or are they jus not worthy of my love. i dont know. i jus checked chelk blog. realized ive been so FAR.very FAR from her life. i feel so bad. everyone is living their own life. no own cares abt anyone anymore. new friends. BUSY. like im so FAR from God. i hate the feeling. yepp. i dont wish to talk abt it. sometimes. some things made me real sad. but i dont cry on the spot. the numb i felt replaced all my thots w fear. fear that numbed me so hard i cldnt react. no one came in. the world walked out. emptiness r'lly surrounded me. no one is in my shoes. so what? it was actually her who stood by me. not them. i was wondering why did it happened? its not my results i fear now. is the friendship btw us i fear. they dont understand my SILENCE. im feeling v upset now. i pray to you. take away my doubts. let me LOVE. i know u will nv fail me.
sometimes i dun wish to smile anymore. the smiles are for nothing. jus for me to look better. the smiles hide my truth.
okay. i realize its all my own fault. whatever. no one cares anyways. blah. except GOD. and my ASS. and my parents. and of course. HOPE CHURCH PPLE PPLE (: think on the bright side. perhaps i only need GOD. i only need my ASS and HOPE. i will go on. for God give me strength i pray.

A friend is one who understands our SILENCE.
A friend is volume of sympathy bound in cloth.
A friend is one who multiply joys and divide grief.
A friend is one who comes in when the whole world walks out.
A true friend loves at all time.

TO BE A BETTER FRIEND. YOU HAVE TO SPEAK WORDS OF ENCOUAGEMENT (:
yay. im gonna accept a person this week.

2006-02-10T08:34:00.000-08:00

my one desire. is to give you perfect PRAISE (:
ive got a B THREE for chi o levels. how bad can it be. to those out there. seriously i was numb at the first few hours. however i was damn upset confused and whatever sai feeling in the world. totally upside down. i cld feel my heart cry. really. i teared when i met liza and meiyi. how wish there was a *him for me to hug n cry. (but thr will nv be) mr foo wans a compo for us. i made a title in the LONELY BUS TRIP BACK HOME. the compo shall be FANG QI. the meaning of life. i live it all for GOD. but i do not get what i want easily. the good comes and go. the bad is always here. HAVE FAITH? i want to. but reality stops me so. my soul knows very well i cannot be what i want. i cannot get what i want. i cannot get who i want. the superficial smile behind the plastic mask. im going to depression again. the second phase of depression. GAH. let me slp. the best is let a terrible disaster befall the earth. and all living species be gone. all gone to HEAVEN to see our saviour's face. (: PERFECT.
okay. shall get on with LIFE. get me out of depression someone. PLEASE.

today. yepp. after results. stayed and went to find ganlao. who was busy w the sec4s. den. ate with qinz. obviously it was only her eating. no appetite from the POOR RESULTS. den walked to bus stop. DEN. i realized i left wallet in sch. SHUCKS. MISS ASS was so nice to acc me to the sch. but i ps her as wahtuck ask me talk. so went to find wahtuck thinkin GANLAO was w him. den it was all a SPAM! yepp. ended up with peiliang siongaik sacha wahtuck jiajun and yizhi talking. MAD. bro lim was there STONING. everyone goin into depression mode. ehs. den i went off cus they were talking abt the LONG future. far from what i wished to settle now. yepp. den no ganlao. went home in that lonely bus. sms-ed ASS and ZIYI. i went down to buy bread for my ahgong and ended up late for the CGS band @ acs(barker). met ginette cass and wenlin. yepps. got to know ROWENA. saw natalie. LAUGH AND HIGH with PEH TAITAI. den at interval went to the BB room of acs. i think all the facalities in that sch is much much better den screwed NANHUA. i duno why miss peh wanted this sch at first. GAHS. after everything went around barker. den went to cine with qinz alywin and her ivan. i did not eat. 3 main reasons. no 4. no appetite. too ex. jianfei. save $$. YARH. den i went home in the end. yepps. I RAN HOME in fact. but i still did not eat. hais. my day. is a sad day. i hope tme will be better. i will be gng to church! YAY! finally. i miss church. i miss ballet. i miss west b one. i miss my old self. i miss the love in me.

to ASS:
hai. thanks loads. realized had been getting closer to u since the FIANSEH incident. yepp. we'll keep going (: r'lly glad to have found such a fren like you (: YAY. jus here to tell u that. I LOVE YOU LOADS. i give u my heart. i give u my soul. i live for you alone. MAD. thats for GOD! LOL. <3 you.

FANG QI

giving up. cus u mocked at me.
giving up. cus i dun have FAITH.
giving up. cus i wont lose anything.
giving up. cus i rather be dead.
giving up. cus i want to take a turn and get away
giving up. cus i am tired from trying.
giving up. cus theres no more HOPE. even if ure trying so hard.
giving up. cus my tear glands are drying up.
giving up. cus pple who hates me wants me to.
giving up. cus i wan to anger you.

FANG QI. SHI ZHE ZHUAN GE WAN. YE XU HUI YOU CAI HONG.

(:

2006-01-28T18:31:00.000-08:00

its DA NIAN CHU YI. and im freakin bored as my parents are still asleep.
yepp. SERVICE on friday. everyone thot i was an act cute freak with 2 plaits. i think i turned alot of guys off. and pissed off many girls. wth. stupid sch. ya. seriously. anyw. went shopping with yingqiu my BABY on sat. we walked pratically the whole ORCHARD? yepps. yay. she shitou so much. we made a pack to shop every 3 months. so i'll start saving to buy my ultra low cut hipsters. and get my slip offs shirts and my white belt. and my playboy ring! okay. money spender. and get my PUNK SHORT SPIKE HAIRSTYLE at the coolest hair dresser! YAY! met loads of pple. like clar. huiyi. and who else. some others. i forgot. oh ya. went china town at like 10 plus. imagine the crowd. cld hardly breathe. btw im so honoured to be countin down w a shuai ge. hahas. cus in the crowd. met this grp of people. and we were trying all means to get out. hahas. saw joanna. also in a squashed condition. LOL. yepp. gonna get my ang baos today.
when i woke up this morning. i felt an urge to write a lil note to those who left some things in my heart. (: yepps.

GIVE THANKS

CHELSEA CHANG: thanks for the wonderous times (: thanks for making me fall when i needed desperate help. thanks for allowing ur chair to support mine when one of my chair legs broke. thanks for all the help u gave me in chi lessons and fa zhans (: hahas. thanks for introducing and playing w me the games that were so stupid. thanks for the nicknames. thanks for the quarrel in sec one. haha. more thanks. too many. (:

JACQUELINE TINGTING HUIZHEN:
thanks for standin by me the times when i needed friends the most. thanks for being friends w me. thanks for trusting me. yepp. friends forever girls (:

SIOKXIN JAN:
yay. sistaa brand. thanks for being so nice to me. thanks for the dance time. thanks for the help in qian fans and handstand and cartwheels. thanks for all the beautiful gifts. thanks for te FATTEST TIME after school. thanks so much for making me a better person.

-HER:
thanks too. tho u may not know how much happiness you've brought at one peak in my life. thanks so much. i will learn to love as many as i can. i r'lly hope u'll be happy w your new life. your new friends. (:

-HIM:
FATE brought us together and also seperated us. (: we're still friends right? hahas. YES I KNOW WE ARE.

YINGQIU:
yay. my BABY. i sometimes hate ur mood swings. i sometimes hate how u become so moody suddenly. but u'll still always be my beloved BABY. yepps. thanks for all the funny times uve gave me.

SIN EE:
rmb how we cried over some issues. LOL. silly. im so silly. yepps. we'll be friends forever right? YAY.

KAHHWEE:
this clever lil idiot. I NEED MORE OF YOU. lol.

MEIYI:
my les partner. shes crazy. shes mad. shes everything that is qian zou. LIKE ME! hahas. thats why we make the best of friends. (: altho i hate her hao lian ness! wahas. she must hate smth of me also i guess. YAR. my will nv get angry friend (:

LIZA:
shes forever so quiet. so quiet u dun find any harm socialising w her. maybe thats why shes so popular as a TRUE friend. serious. a BIG GOOD CATCH. tho she has her yellow sword. LOL (: oops.

ZIYI:
my dance partner in class (: hahas. thanks GOD for allo
allowing me to enter the same class as you. it r'lly bonded our relationship in DANCE and in CLASS. thank GOD ive met you. (: YEPPS.

MISS PEH QINZHEN:
my ass shakin partner (: hahas. YAY. glad to met her too. really widen my social circle a lil. hahas. we've dreams yet to be realized! HAHAS. see you at the end of the RACE (: and con't studio wu with me after o levels. as we WILL get in acjc together and all.(:

CARINE:
my sun(soon). hahas. shes HIP la. jus that she SLEEPs too much in class. hahas. really glad to have got to know her more during the shanghai trip (: YAY (: see you at the end of the RACE too (:

BEELING:
hiehs. this girl here looks damn great in skinny POLO. im serious. LOL. SIMPLE MINDED and CAREFREE to me. i like her LIFE (: hahas. rock on BABE!

SEELEK:
i r'lly miss you alot. hahas. rmb how we always play nonsensical nonsense in the class. until it got gan laoshi real irritated. hahas. too bad we have to seperate cus of our studies and our noise level. (: YAY! i hope u can go out soon (: and get more freedom and a HANDPHONE! hahas.

YIQI:
thanks for the first few weeks of sec3 life (: yepp. tho everything did not turn out FINE. but im glad were still good buddies now (: HUGGS.

YANGPING:
DEAR (: oh yucks. hahas. thanks BRO. r'lly glad to met a nice bro like you. (: hahas. thansk for all the JOKES in class. ok. i think im damn real open w you. cus i will never chu chou in front of any guys. like making a v UGLY face. hahas. be honoured!

BRO LIM:
THANKS! for ur ears. hahas. hahas. sorry for scoldin you. hahas. its over now. no hard feelings and may the FORCE be with you. carry the NEOPRINT with you and you will gain ENLIGHTENTMENT in no time (: have a FLUFFY PARTIE with MUSCLE (:

WAH TUCK:
hahas. hmms. ROCK ON (: and be less irritating. hahas. i know you miss her. take care.

YIZHI:
yay. thanks for everything (:

MOK FIRM BUTT:
u're a v funny friend. hahas. MR THOMAS MOK.

phew. ive finished my sec classes.
now my church.

PAMELAyeo:
THANKS THANKS THANKS. for bringin me to Y HOPE. ive opened my heart to GOD and walked out of m darkness. ive found a way in LIFE and the meaning of it. i pray i will grow in goodwill and become a better person (: THANKS SO MUCH. "hey. i treating you to a MOVIE! " LOL.

GUIHAO:
thanks for being such a womderful friend while i didnt belog to any grp yet. thanks for the care (: yepp. a GREAT SISTER i'll nv forget(:

YIHUI and MICHELLE:
thanks for saying HI to me and making me feel welcome every time we meet in church. hahas. tho i always see michelle and she always see me. (: yepp.

YUQIAN:
my SHEPHERD. yepp. thanks so much for the teaching. and yepp. caring abt my LIFE (: ure a great shepherd. thanks thanks thanks. i'll treat u to a movie too on ur DAY (:

GWEN:
hahas. (: thanks for the LOVE uve showered (:

YONGMEI:
miss TURBO (: LOL. hope to grow with you and yah. SISTERS forever. i like the way you carry LIFE (:

TANIA:
hey girl. tho not v close with you. but yepp. (: stay cool (:

ASHA:
hahas. same age. but so different. yepp. i like the bookmark uve made for me on christmas (:

ROSANNE:
the forever so sweet girl in my life (: hahas. ure my role model as i like the way ure caring for others and putting others b4 self (:

WENDY:
another kind soul (: I LOVE YOU LOADS (:

LINDA:
so glad to know ure in BALLET too (: hahas. YAY. you rock (:

MING YI:
heehee. dun know u well. but i know u study at clementi town. hope to see you often (:

KAI NING:
prettaye lil girl (: shes so LAME (: hahas. YAY. we'll be good sisters forever (:

EE LEE:
thanks for bringin me to DANCE @ yhope (: i hope GOD will make use of me greatly and thanks for ur CARE for me (:

DANCE for LIFE as it brings out the PASSION in YOU (:

WENHUI:
associate her as my partner as we are on PAR in everything. we will learn qian fan together some day when we muster the courage to do so! HAHAS.

QIAOYU:
yay. thanks siokxin for introducing this simple cute girl to me. real fun times rating people w her. HAHAS. hope to grow a closer relation with you (:

VIVIEN:
pok pok pok. ure always smsing the wrong RACHEl. thanks ziyii for letting me know her (:

JESLYN:
oh my taste so good dance partner (: we'll rock BALLET together. hope to do more DANCE with you (: hahas. cant wait for ATTITUDE summer camp (: hahas. I LOVE YOU!!!

CONSTANCE:
take care girl (: hahas. my forever so funny junior (:

SWEE KUN and ZHIYING and ROSANNE:
yay. thanks for accepting me in ur grp (: thanks for doing sit ups and back ups together (: LOL.

MELODY:
you're a great friend (: LOL.

JIEYIM:
thanks for the times uve stnad by me and helped me thru the darkest part of my life.

DARYL:
hms. thanks for not forgettin me by sendin msgs every ocassion (: yepp. have a blessed life and wish u success (:

HIM-:
thanks so much for everything. ure someone i'll nv forget (:

him him and still HIM:
maybe it was not fated. i gave u up once. im not letting go twice. but the second chance dont seem to come. probably. it was a wrong decision to allow u to go. i wanted u so badly. now i understand the meaning of regret. sometimes i wonder would it be better to just let it fallow. oh dear. my world's turning upside down.

LONG ENTRY. and ive still not complete. (: will cont some other day. cus im too sad now. thinkin abt the last person. ):

give me the
COURAGE FAITH and HOPE
to forget.
everything thats satun in my life.
I WANT A NEW LIFE.

(:

2006-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

wthwthwtF. yah. HI PEOPLE. my com was down for like 3 HOLY months. yeah. and so so so many events actually took place. i understood i had to give up some things, accept some things and most of all. ive learnt to LOVE. (: yay. yepp. i missed the holidays! oh yes i really do! hmms. its a brand new start! YAY! ive thrown my past away. with anyone ive loved. ive hated. everything. i want to understand and know each and every one again. (: GOD IS HERE WITH ME! ok. since ive thrown away my past. ya. shall blog abt today. ( ive forgotten what ive done for the past days anyw. STM ) LESSONS! YAY. i started the day by wearing a HAIRBAND which is too small for my BIG HEAD. ok. the hairband IS small. den lessons.i love CHINESE TODAY. cus i was simply so efficient in my work. (: (: hahas. nice me walked yingqiu to the mrt. den met yyuqian for shepherd teaching. hmm. i roamed around west mall like for quite long. YAH. den went hmm hor. as usual the long talk began. so long that my legs crumpled. den i decided to take bus 970 to studio wu. ok. i was decidin whether to drop at c'welath or queenstown as my bladder was gng to burst any moment. but i jian chi till i reached studio wu which was a LONG grandpa way. anyw. ya. GIRLS HIP HOP. the dance today was so seductive. CAROL rocks.wheee. and the HIP HOP teacher BIBI is a real HOTTIE. upon the stress ive suffered this whole 3 weeks. i sweated it all out like nobody business. u shd hv seen me dance. i look like a fkin bitch with no brains. enough. i hate my real self. oops. anyw. PRAISE THE LORD! i passed my GEOG. once in a lifetime. oh god. YAY! no. i shall pass from now on (: yepp. hahas. hmm. birthdays coming up. chelseas' still on the waiting list. be honoured i spent so much effort in her present. yep. carine's coming. my dad's coming. YAY. officially BROKE.
tmr there is SRV! yay. going bugis to SHOP for my prettaye studs.
and on sat. whee. KBOX! YESYESYES! i rockk.
YAY!
thank god for the wonderful new year plans.

my top HPY(haopengyou) of the month.
-SIN EE. (yaya.ive loved her more!)
-KAH HWEE (thanks for the endless nights of calls and tutoring)
-MEI YI(who molested me severely)
-JAN(for accompanying me to PON PA)
-ALYSSA(for telling me the lamest jokes of meekia)
-QINZHEN(for her beautiful updates of love life) -qinz gonna kill me for this
and anyone ive forgot (:
-west b one.

iwantedtolovehimagain
butagainhefailedme
asisawtheuglysideofhim

(:

2006-01-06T04:44:00.000-08:00

I SWEAR MY COM SUCKS>
currently at my cous house. LOL. erm. wow. i miss the HOLS. my girls hip hop. my slacking arnd everyday. my sleepovers. my bitching. my DANCING. my making of ALOT OF NEW FRIENDS. my CAREGROUP. my SHEPHERD. my PARTIES!!!. LOL. so much FUN lah. and it all ended. boohoos. I MISS EVERYTHING SO MUCH.

oh yeah. i bought a BIBLE. GOD's WORD! im v glad ive converted. i feel a motivation inside me more than before and yah. u know what. I learnt to love everyone. including my enemies. sometime i scribble on a piece on paper of my hatred for someone. but i pray to god in the same piece of paper. and the next moment im smiling at her! HURRAY!

CHINGAY! yepp. i duno how to cope as the first week has already gave me pressure. but i know HE will make a way. even when there seems no way. HE works in ways we cannot see. HE will make a way for me. JESUS CHRIST!

yay.
bye.

(:

2005-11-28T13:28:00.000-08:00

okayss. my com back on (: nice nice. i jus hope it wont shut down before i finished this entry. (: YA. shanghai was more than fun (: kinda missed it tho. and DANCE. ok. chingay totally rawks tho i prefer the last music. hmms. yepps. GIRLS HIP HOP WAS A DISASTER. they shaked like nobody business? ya. oh god. im turning into some sex goddess or what. but its real HOT. HOT. HOT. i dun see any attraction in the ketchup dance but many onlookers seem to like it. ya. like. wow. okie. i duno. gonna try latin jazz tmr. i cfm it will so rock. (: WAHA. ytd had a PARTY. ya. dun wan to elaborate much. ACS BARKER BOYS. LOL. MISS PEH (: hmms. met new people. oh shucks. my BALLET. yikes. jeslyn shoes rawks HELL loads. and ive made alot of new friends. so cool right? YEPP YEPP. ive so widen my circle. gonna widen it more. (((: its been close to a month since i BLOG. obviously many things happened but im so tired to think abt all. so ya. this is my first day at home since the start of the holidays. im gonna pack my room later. i swear. YES. chalet coming up. IM SO EXCITED. yesyes. ive learnt to party. gonna blast the music. throw water. play zhong ji mi ma with some atrocious DARE. force peanut into pple's nose. ok. SICKENING. what. shit. i forgot. yea. WHAT! ok. i shall end. shd go friendster-ing now. LOL. STUDIO WU. ATTITUDE. DANCE ARTS. rocks my toes. wahahahahas. im freaking LAME.

resolutions for this year DEC hol.
-slim down
-find someone to shake her ass with me
-lots of party
-tuition for maths
-practise piano
-master the ART of ass shaking. and acting SEXY.
-make new friends
-GO TO CHURCH WITH MISS YEO HUIQI PAMELA
-love everyone MORE

(:

2005-11-05T13:18:00.000-08:00

long time no blog.
shall blog my week. (:
monday.? ehs. ? OH YA. chinese o levels. how could i ever forget. was yingqiu celebration day as well. hahas. shant like blog. cus theres nth much to blog anw. tuesday. deepavali. lol. ehs. went out with my mum to orchard. bought quite a number of stuffs. wahas. wed was real bad. apparently i was LATE for wongs lesson and obviously with such a BIG class i cant concentrate. yeah. so theers go 3 hours of crapping with meiyi. and i went to like? where. nono. we went to GEOG remedial which miraculously ended at 23o (: lol so we went BT. den back to JP. ok la. i bought presents (: wahas. and THURS. made my way to pam house. lol. LONG WALK. grab the stuffs at her house and went back to mine. giggled our way thru at those guys in he yearbook. lol. and yea. TOWNING. took wonderful pretty pictures again. real sweet. and what? went to yHOPE. made loads of new friends there. the people there were GREAT. yepps. so sad i couldnt go like today. sad hur? i'll make it up to her after my shanghai trip. ok. den went to hotel to eat my dinner. was my grandma day. eh. i dared my cousin to like barged into a door. and pretend he went into the wrong room. lol. apparently it was so funny. hahas. okayys. all my cousins are taller den me la. grr. ive stop growing. jus be glad im 168cm (: hmms FRIDAY WAS THE BEST. that was ytd. er. i reached like 40 mins late for physics. PRO EH? lol. feel so bad. den hmms. eating in class like the whole 2 hours plus. den before we left. i had the shock. mrs chiang like called me one to one. she wanted to give me one to one tuition. oh tian. yah. TIAN. ok. at least she cares. but that means she'll take up DANCE time. shall beg her to like take the 8 to 9 slot. at least i dont have to worry about physics during DANCE. BIO. ok. mrs tan obviously has no mood to teach. hurhurs. SLACKERS. and i pon CHEM for dance. thats bad eh. but got what NAC. den heard mr see gonna give extra lessons. hurs. i duno. BAD ME. me n wt was up in the dance studio with the sec ones. hahas. had to do a dance routine for many times la. den wong like always there. pressurized. but shes better than RAJAH. can tell she hates me still. grr. den ketchup. beside me is GRACE and JESLYN. in front of me is my dear ZIYI. and im partnering YANJIA. okayys. nice. hurhurs. mr low said my whatever RON was nice. (((: ok. YAY. whee. mad. lol. BALLET TODAY. i ate so much i can hardly move suddenly. COUCH POTATO. SHANGHAI IN LIKE 3 DAYS. OHMY. so gonna miss alot of pple.

hmms. i decided to thank pple that help me in one way or another since today. (:
pple i have to thank for the week :
ALYSSA ( for waiting for me and asking me not to be sad LOL )
PEIXUAN ( who accompanied me to the toilet. tricked )
JAN ( for helping me in alot of things )
MEIYI QINZ ( who bothered to sms me when i was LATE for remedials )
BRO LZW ( ..thanks (: )
ZIYI ( for pei-ing me HOME )
and YOU ( who took time reading my entry )

dont know if i can blog in shanghai ):

li kai ni
shi sha shi dui shi cuo
shi kan bo shi ruan rou
zhe jie gou
shi ai shi hen huo zhe shi shen mo
ru gou shi zhong jie tuo
wei he hai you juan lian zai wo xin wo
na me ai ni
wei shen me

2005-10-27T20:55:00.000-07:00

IM FUCKING PISSED. YAH. I SERIOUSLY AM.

i boarded the bus 52. and it took fucking blardy long to like travel 3 bus stops. thanks to those aunties or uncles who like took so long to get on the BUS and the bus has to STOP AT THE TRAFFIC LIGHT. im fuckin pissed la. den soon. i duno why. GOT THIS FUCKER wanted to sir beside me when he has his fuckin eyes to see that i have a PILE OF BOOKS. ya. there was still space beside him but he still wanted that seat beside me! FUCK HIM! so i was so irritated. i began taking out paper and crushing it. and i blast my music. and i took out the scissors and began cutting myself. all that was to make him go away. but he did not. arse. so i pretended to talk on the phone and started scoldin vulgarities. he still did not go. i finally took out that piece of paper. and wrote BIG. fucker get lost ----> i wrote that. i reckoned he saw that but he still did not budge. so im freakin pissed. i went home. findin an accident occurred at my hse. BAD JAM. i was pissed again. real pissed. i marched my way home and i got knn scolded by my mum cus she finds my voice too loud. FINE. ok. so she kept asking qns and i ans OBVIOUSLY. and she keep commenting my voice sucks all that. deni scolded back. FUCK LA. DUN ASK ME TALK LIAO!. so im pissed again. argh.
i went online. and this fucker came and talk to me again. i did not reply him. but im still pissed at his DP cus there is his fuckin face. as i type this. i fucking pissed again. grrrr.

2005-10-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

OK. NOT THAT IM MAD OR WHAT LA.
BUT MISS PHUA FROM ATTITUDE STUDIO REALLI RAWKS (((: LOL.
went for adult ballet today. hahas. she like recaping with me all the steps! LOL. and she did arabeques. LOL. so cool. altho m legs are breaking but im still like over the moon. NICE JESLYN waited for me la! oh god. she rawks she rawks she rawks. okay. we found out our birthdates are only 2 days apart. LOL. we made a pact we gonna throw a party and learn ballet for the rest of our lives. LOL. (: JESLYN I LOVE HER TO BITS AND PIECES.
not forgettin my BEAUTIFUL ALYSSA. LOL.
yepps. ad peixuan and hannqian and yue li (: okok. god knows wads happening. but yea. hope everything turns out right ya? i pray for them.

BALLET RAWKS.
ok. sorry i paste up a very inspirational post. cus i jus wanted the whole world to know how ATTITUDE studio rawks (: LOL. but SBA teacher miss cheah is still very nice. hahas. ok. all ballet teachers are nice (:

wahahas.
HELLO!- by alyssa. ( MOUNTAIN )
err. psk: rawk,mountain,stone.
contributed by my baby.

2005-10-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

boohoo.LOL.everyday is dance dance and dance (: yepps. went for ballet on saturday at attitude studio. the teacher quite nice. but yea. hard to tell her mood. anyw. i really suck at the turns. lol. arabeques are nice (((: hmms. went out with qinzhen and her friend CELINE. ok. cel kinda rocks (: hahas.they were shopaholics. real shopaholics. LOL. yepps yepps. she was fun ya? i like her at least. hmms.h`ve been inivited to her party. shes jus so cool right? LOL. parties are nice! kbl n car wld be there too. ok. so i wont be extra. and qinzhenny. no. christabelle.!! lol. going HIP HOP at studio wu! with me. so. im so going to pray so hard for her. yepps! hmms. i went to visit mrs tan at orchard too. lol. taught me for 7 years. abacus. went there to look at the small kids and yepps. receive talks from them.my a maths sucks i know. wahas. i saw my PIC there. LOL. so freakin fugly. oh wells. wahas.
ytd.
went bugis with PHAY-ERS and JAN (: LOL. took pics again (: and i bought a kogepan file. LOL. so cutee!!! they all choose the big family. but i rather carine's file yea.LOL. nvm. i bot the big family. PA was okie. mr low dance lessons are always FUN. my sweat glands are gettin alot this few days. hahas. after ballet. so i sweated alot . ohmans. mr low arabeques are mad. real mad. and my legs were shaky. jan's too. LOL. suan ar! we both had dance on saturday. i was xia swayed again. my jumps weren't good enough. was made by mr low to jump with xuezhen. and xuezhen was much better! LOL.den the ketchup dance. ok. i jus learnt it like YTD. and was asked to dance on the spot. malued to the very very end. hahas. den waited so longg. for alyssa! yepps. so she finally got changed! LOL. hahas. went bugis with them. but me and hannqian went home. guai us. cus we were gng out tml. which is today. and ya. cant reach home so late. furthermore. my mom cooked. wow. lol. and den i received a msg from pamela yeo! LOL. ok. HOT LEGS! LOL. RAIN! nahs. shakes head in disbelief. LOL. anyw. PAM so rocks. like the crapping sessions with her. rawks rawks rawks rawks rawks. going to her church service this saturday. (: hahas. ok. i'll make sure she see this (:
do you pple believe that my mom locked me out of the room because i didnt allow her to cut my toe nails? yepps. so i watch tv till i cried cus of the show la. ge dou tian wang. i cried or an hour or so. my eyes real puffy now. f u g l y.
end. today im going to k boxx. and by leotards. ok. my dad says i spent a thousand this week. sorry i cant save money.

my grandma fainted. hope shes gonna be alright. i pray.

- im going to so see the person today again. -
suck me. not going to talk to her. i'll try to.

2005-10-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

I SWEAR I WILL DIG ANYONE EYES OUT THE NEXT TIME I SEE SOMEONE STALK ME!

OK. i was trying HARD not to make eye contact with that bunch of AH BENGS along the road. I concentrated on my damn BLOOD PHONE ALL THE WAY until i nearly knocked into one of the BENGS. so ya. i quickly scrammed. and again i saw another GROUP OF IDIOTS who seem no better than the BENGS. so i quickly look down on my HP again and tried make a quick escape. i walk with all my might. trying to overtake every pedestrain on my f way. and i heard an annoying knn voice. " OEI NAN HUA DE! " they called out at least duno how many f times. and at last. i was stucked at the traffic light. i hope they would not catch up. i walk like a mad pig. trotting its way. real mad. grrr. arghh.
i wanted to point my middle finger but thot it was quite rude and i would get into big trouble. so i decided to call kahhwee. but i decided not to again. ok. CRAP. jus a msg to all stalkers.

TERRORS. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE THE KING AND FREE TO DO WHAT U WANT. I WILL KICK UR GROIN AND MAKE SURE U HAVE NO FATHERS DAY AND DIG UR EYES OUT SO U CANT SEE THE PRETTY WORLD AND MAKE SURE UR SPIKE HAIR GETS REAL FLAT. grrr.

ahh. freak. so yepps. im so gonna fail physics once again. (:
will i get retain. i guess so. shd be.
cus if i dont. who will? there will be 35 pple left. yes. im so sure.

okayys. i have so many things to learn. so many many. infinite. infinity. uncountable. argh. whatever.

AKON- BANANZA. so rocks.
shake that ass.

to that sumbodies out there in the openn:
i think u are seriously damn bloody selfish. yes you are. you are just a coward acting cool la. i hate this type of you. sometimes i feel like smacking you and waking you up from ur selfish world. so what i your FRIEND does better den you. so what? hahas. i once tested you. and you said you hated her cus she could like do something you couldnt. what state of mind are u in? HALLO. i tot we were FRIENDS. oh goddess. you arse. i really hate u sometimes. but you know i cant like say it all out. everyone is so protective of fucker you. cus yea. maybe i know you alot better. i tend to see ur other half. its real terrorizing sometimes. YOU CAN BE THE TOP OF THE WORLD. BUT YOU WOULD NOT HAVE FRIENDS. really. selfish selfish selfish selfish YOU. you want the best isnt it? go be the best fucker in town. go be the best bitch in town. oh u freak. grrr. argh.

BALLET

2005-10-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD.
im startin BALLET tml at SBA (:
with my dearest JESLYN (:
she rawks so much (:

ok. for the past week. errs. wow. been to alot of houses (: xiaowei meiyi saw peixuans hse. LOL. been to alot of places. travelling like a mad freak. (: hmms. spend the whole week with mostly yingqiu ziyi meiyi xwei kh. LOL. envious hur? lol. cus they are so nice pple u jus have to envy. i hope i did pass for the subj la. (: jus pray. yepps. phy paper was a tricky one. bro yp seems confident tho (: hmms. went bugis today. with the other 6 (: walk till leg step on lemon. lol. im startin ballet tml with dear JES. yepps. and not forgettin our nice audrey. (: i think im gonna be the fattest dancer in the room ): hecks. hmms. sorry qinz. yea. im going shopping with qinz on saturday. lol. that shopaholic best buddy. paint the town red.

// a new chapter. exams are over finally. i will i must concentrate on PIANO. and. DANCE. and my BODY MASS. and MY FRIENDS and MY TRIP TO SHANGHAI. and MY REDO-ING OF THE WHOLE YEAR MATHS TOPICS at hmm hor (: i gonna acheived. yes i am. hahas. (:

now talking to jeslyn on the phone. SBA real trouble la. ok. but it still rawks (: hmms. lol. fats.

yes. im so going to enjoy my life from this moment.

ive jus like read thru something so meaningful.

you guo li bie de zi wei cai hui dong de zhen xi kuai le he xing fu.
die dao de zi wei wang wang hui xue dao hen duo dong xi.
fang shou de zi wei fan er, shi yi ge xin sheng huo de kai shi.
xiao de zi wei neng ba kuai le dai ge sheng pang de mei yi ge ren.
ku de zi wei.
ku guo de yan lei neng ran ni ba shi jie kan de gen qing chu. wo men jie lei shui ba suo you de bu kai xin dai zou. ku ye shi yi zhong xin fu.
-adapted from hcl chinese workbook di er shi san ke (:

LOL.
the stars are crying the blackest tears tonight
-delle chan nick (: hahas.
i cant help falling in love with you (:

2005-09-25T21:44:00.000-07:00

(:
sunshine after the rain (:
i see my sunshine.
but i kinda miss the rain (:
oh wells.
my LIFE rawks so hard that it hurts (:

ytd stayed back waiting for ah KOK. xwei n hwee decided not to go tuition. den KOK do work until so late. den she nv go. in the end i go myself la. ): nvm. thanks wah tuck n meiyi n yingqiu n kahhwee for teaching me maths (: hahas. the dan druff guy was there again. LOL. den do maths lor. do n do n do. until 9 smth. met a new friend FIONA. her friend nv come la. there was a beeeg lizard there. den she v scared. LOL. den the black cat keep playing with my cat on the bag. yikes. anyw FIONA lives in ang mo kio which means we can go back together liao. (((: bukit timah to amk or bishan not short eh. lol. yay. shes from kuo chuan pyb. hmms. cant rmb who went there. oh nvm.

shall skip saturday. cus i was so so bored at night. den i smsed 7 pple who never replied me. until jan replied. and all the smses flooded in. and i was too busy. god. lol. wrong timing. hahas. my dad office kinda rawk actually. FOOD. lol.

woke up at 630 today to do MATHS. and went tuition. meiyi came after that. i was um chio ing the whole lesson cus hmm hor teacher v funny. den i think i look like an idiot bahs. lol. hmms. went 7-11 with meiyi halfway. she bot banana milk n it split all over the papers. yikes! lol. we were feng-ing arnd la. (: nice to have a friend (: and her bro came after. damn lame la. so pia lor. i become log liao. walk with meiyi n bro after tuition. lol. laming all the way bahs. (: hahas. her bro name damn cute. smile * turns smile. i got another DRY POLO TEE! saw sarah. mel n bernice at j8 la. sarah looks wow. haven seen her for 3 years. lol.

BIO is so damn freakin boring.
and tan laoshi thinks we only study BIO la.
mad. how to finish de.
SIAO.

im tired.

bye pple.-

(:

2005-09-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

BOO.
everything seems fine (:
but im not like enjoying my love life. never.

a bimbo feather like brains. ---> cynthia ang.
being sarcastic brings u to greater heights as it enables u to tolerate sarasm by people ---> cynthia ang.
do i seem like i care? ---> cynthia ang.
sarcasm rawks. i conclude.

i almost cried at tuition today. as in. really CRY. cus the wicked jane teacher was explaining all those cheemy stuffs to kh xwei n meiyi when i din understang a single dot. she din even teach me anything and she ask me listen. CRAP. as if im clever enuff to understand. so i did my maths and she concluded i was like not paying attention. freak. so finally that guy left and i sat on his place. slowly beginning to understand. oh god. god bless her. hmms. she explained chem cal. ((: good good. but yea. understandable but boring. and she fuckin $$$ minded. cant she be like nice hmm hor teacher. sisters. shes christian by the way. yea. ji jiao $$$. hur. disgrace man. sorry but if u talk to me all these stuffs im gonna shut u up. act wei da say wad passion for teaching. rather u want $$$ lah. grr. pissed. hmm hor laoshi rawks.

ok. i sounded really despo at my third sentence. hahas. whatever. but yea. i finally felt the pain to see someone i like liking another. thats quite pain ? yea. sure it is. but once u think he confides in you about his crush. u feel happy for him? yea. he once said that. no people say that when u love a person u wld want him to be happy. thats true. but sometimes the world is too unfair. yea. chio bu`s get the love and all. accept it rachel. ure jus a mosquito arnd the shit. wahahahahas. amused by my own sentence. hmms. sure u admire the chio-ers. but if there are no ugly pple like me arnd. there wont be chiobu`s you know. thats why im living. to contrast that everybody is chio. sorry im recently so thrashed up.

im beginning to like her so im happy for him. ((: shes nice. honestly.
the angel hmm hor says: rachel dont be selfish. you know ure jus the shit and does not worth the leaf's love. give it to the flower instead. u shall be nice. (: yepps.
all u have to do is jus swallow the tears and allow the kidneys to ya. pass out as urine eventally. so long byebye.

currently into 5566 hao jiu bu jian (:

meiyi rawks.
qinzhen rawks
ziyi rawks
liza rawks
sinee rawks
kahhwee rawks
yingqiu rawks
he still rawks. but i know he will stop soon. (:

(:

2005-09-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

haven been bloggin for a week. hahas. real busy each day. nothing to talk about. maybe on fri. yea quite enjoyable. supposed to meet ziyi at 6 la. den i change to 615. den 630. so i reach at 630 and ziyi was still not there. and she suggested 6 in the first place LOL. ok. anyw. 3 gluttons with her sis la. we munch our way there. her sis damn cute la. ((: hahas. den on the way met a small boy boy. YAO XIN. from nhps. he was very early i supposed. lol. yea. very early. hahas. 715 liao. he was to reach at 6. hmms. den me and ziyi go arnd find pple talk all that bahs. usual. hmms. alot pple tot i was mad. or bisexual or MAN. or whatever. chiang couldnt recognize me la. she stared at me for moments. hahas. anyw. i only dressed myself with a gior polo tee. and jeans. with white belt and a tie. thats all la. hmms. scary. i was home quite late. thats sad. hees. anyways. the whole fri night was fun (: alyssa lol. madeline. ZIYI!!! meiyi.liza. me n ziyi was lol when they played the er hu. liz was lookin so serious. hahas. saw gan. im jus trying my best not to hate him la. cus if i hate him i would hate CHINESE. and there would go my results. (: hmms. saw shijie too. lol. lin lao. (((: cute teacher. ok. sorry. im mad somehow liao. too tired to think. shall put it to an end.

im sitting beside sinee now. change seats. hahas. all my darlinks beside me (: lol. meiyi qinzhenn ziyi etc.(: cool huh? im trying hard to concentrate. real hard. so hard that my eyes feel that they are popping out of my bones. but it still closes somehow. real bad.

im lazy. but i know i still have to study. sad.

ohya. came across a blog recently. oh my. that blogger was horrid la. lets name the blogger BLOGGY. ok. bloggy writes about his friends and family horridly. and his fakes a cute accent every here and then. he dedicates posts to girls. oh god. desperate? i duno. but. he jus sounds like shit. really. even his blogskin is so damn freaking horrid. oh god. im critisizing again. but it really jus irks me. and i jus want to blog it. sorry.

dance
dance
dance

(:

2005-09-11T21:33:00.000-07:00

this post shall be a happy one.

to my dear alyssa. lol. thanks yea. i really love you. thanks for bringin me to PA and help u all bang gao qiao and get raped by hannqian and hug peixuan. and seeing yueli. LOL. nice day man whooo. lol. more details at the PHAY blog. lol. hahas. okie. basically. our dear alyssa is in love with FAT DERRICK. yijianzhongqing. lol. (: yea. she loves me too. lol. bhb. wahhahas. who cares. i love her. (: pardon me.

a big crash today. i duno wad i doing. all i know is schs starting tml (: lol. wow. i think there will be a change of seats and mrchin will get a shock of how clean our class is. haa. (: nice job 3o9. its worse den a pig sty.

hmms. shall i get started with hw. yeah i shd. after this post.

ohya. i think im deaf bahs. i on my mp3 real loud. oh god. save me. n im black lahh. thanks to a day at sentosa ytd. it still rawks yea. lets so beach every 2months (: i love my dear meiyi. hahas.

i
am
a
FLIRT.
be warn yea?
i'll
kiss
you
real
hard.

(:

2005-09-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

DETACHED officially.
gone (: yes. all gone.
15 and used by six.
nothing last.
they never will.
but i don care.
to the next user:
love me for who i am
for i wont change myself for you.

ok. I LOVE GIRLS. bisexual. ytd was real hang out time yea. (: went to clementi to take brunch. ( breakfast and lunch ) with. let me see. bro yangping. ( the only male cus nc pangseh ) jess ber kh meiyi ziyi yingqiu and dear qinzhen who was daoing and listening to mp3 lol. den me ziyi qinz n meiyi went to make IC. it was meiyi n qinz lah (: and guess what! I SAW LEI PING. lol. lei rawks yea. i miss her/them loads. ohya. ziyi had a real good laugh la. lol. cus apparently. its not funny at all. pls dun blame me. meiyi was askin qinz if she needed the cashcard. den qinz said no. so happen that the counter woman asked meiyi to give her. so meiyi gave her the cashcard. but right after presenting the cashcard. the woman said ur right thumb. so yea. friggin stupid. but that made ziyi sat on the floor and laugh. ha-ha-ha- den wen went bugis to find them (: hahas. took pics again. damn ego lah. the machine was nice with the rising elevator. lol. ok. yay. den some drama happened. cus when decorating the neos. i lured meiyi away so that they could write yizhi with her. but apparently i cant control my contagious laughter and she was rushin like a mad bull. she pulled and snatched the pen. and kahhwee defended the pen and for the sake of meiyi happiness till she tripped backwards. hit the bag. and fell flat on the floor with her butt landin first den her head. i was a hilarious sight n we attracted the attention of many. lol. poor kahhwee was still worrying about the -ouch- butt while me ber n meiyi stood there laughin our head off real hard. den we went bugis street. qinz got her SUNGLASSES lah. not fair. i got my tie (: lol. we had kh n meiyi as banks. lol. den they left lor. left me meiyi n baby. went this fashion and tried clothes. den went library and had a good laugh. hee. er. den went orchardd (: lol. walk eat walk eat. but quite nice lah. v bonding. it was like damn late liao lor. so we took the train to marina bay and went home. they so nice pei me sit red line. (((: meiyi n yingqiu rawks (:

if you ever treat me as a friend.
pls realized that. i do not keep hatred for long. i may hate u that day cus u did smth unreasonable but after a nights sleep i would love you once again. so pls. stop thinkin im such a unreasonable fucker bitch. cus i realli care for you dear. i love my friends more than anything now.

QINZHEN
MEIYI
ZIYI
YINGQIU
LIZA
KAHHWEE
SINEE
<3

CHEL K
HUISIAN
ALYCIA
MAJELLA
PAM
LEI
DELLE
CHAR
AMELIA
GENEVIEVE
HAZEL
EILEENs
<3

thanks majella for one carving my name on urself. i'll carve yours in my heart (:

(:

2005-09-05T20:05:00.000-07:00

ooh yea. yippee yippee yea.
camp was FUN la. okie. yepps. VAN HOUTEN rawks. + milky bar (: vanbarr. hmms. let me recap lah. first day we did team rapport games. the wall. tyres. and all. lol. quite cool yea. and we did managed to break record for the loop thingy (: the bottle like we doing indian dance liddat. wahahhas. den eat eat eat. i want to eat i want to eat lalala~ ohya. the night hike la. cool (: i was freakin scared asking siew wah to come in front. hes a guy man. bro lim n jarrel in my grp also. but me n jacq was first 2 lah. hahas. kenah scolded by charles and some other weird freak on the way. ohwells. we finished the hike and i was assembled next to bin n yincheong. the 2 disgusting fellas. yea. lol. went back la. the debrief damn cool la. i wrote."i want to go home " the whole page. the next day charles came and ask who is rachel la. ahaahs. rachel. spike hair. anyw. the curry puffs rawks. den i waited for jacq to bathe. hahas. the protem meeting damn freakin long la. waited like 45 mins. halfway i cant tahan la. was waiting with jessie n june. den jessie went with christina cus she no torch. so i went with june to ka jiao meiyi. lol. had a real funny sight lookin at chanyiting. she was acting cool sitting at the stairway la. lol. rofl. den met up with sinee kh yq peixian n meiyi. we slept under bunk12. lol. i love meiyi la. was slping beside her. den i slept quite late. sorry. anyw half way at 430. i woke up. den v scared so i happily woke meiyi up. sorry again. lol. i know im cute (: the trainers bunk damn cool la.
day 2 rawks man. ohk. so i was screwed laughed and deesiaoed by the trainers for my hair. the camp cheif commented i look like the trainer steph. agreed by another instructor. 4got her name. den another one( 4got name also ) asked about my hair. lol. and commented how i shd cut it next time.and another one look at my hair and laugh. den charles nicknamed me SPIKE HAIR. and yea. so on. great hair rachel. at CRC damn kong bu la. but i still did it la. i think trainer DX damn nice la. rock wall next. lol. ok. shibai. we did absailing or whatever u call it. i like the trainer. rawks rawks rawks. the girl in grey. she makes u feel damn safe la. (: i was the first girl ma. and ruenn sheng was behind me. i so scared he push me down la. LOL. we went to mud later. hahas. hannbin practically dived in and caused everyone to eat mud la. hahas. my shoe broke. lol. the trainer damn shocked la. hahas. den went to kayak! woots. partner with yapzhiwei. very nice (: hahas. the washing up of kayaks and all was the best. hmms. but we tio punish for bathing first lor. the girl girl instructor ask me go collect sand la. wthh. but yea. shes nice. i had to go behind the canteen myself. sian sia. the others was clearing the ground. den helped her break the sparkles for campfire la. eat eat eat again. den campfire liao. lol. van bar ((: we love charles and fara. hahas. ruenn sheng sang his song la. damn p/s. everything was great la. debried. charles so cute. he thank everyone of us personally (: ahaas. " rachel spike hair. you can go home tml liao " yays. wahahas. den this time me and meiyi go kajiao more pple lo. jackie so early slp liao ma. we were giving liza gu niang claps. we went to find pple. lol. den finally everything died down den we go bathe lor. was talking thru the shower la. damn cool. den this time more pple. yixuan sinee kh yq liza bernice xiaowei me n meiyi slept under bunk13(my dome) la. ahas. mass. but i jus bathe cant slp la. so i find chelsea chang tok tok. hahas. cecilla was showing off her sleek moves. oei oei oei. ahahas. ohya. the guys pick up the sanitary pads. i saw group 1 n 2 guys doing that. damn cool la. lol. thanks ar. u shd see weijie nick. hahahs.
the morning came. yay. no need to run. hmms. but yea. all trainers go home liao. ):
was with 3o3 bus. hahas. den we 3o9 was singing cheers for 3o9. lol. bi lai bi qu lo. hahahs. but yea. we sang songs together also la. damn high la 3o12 bus. 3o3+3o9. went to eat ji fan after that (:
anyw. group 15 n 16 rawks la. knew quite alot of pple / better. (:
today. ok was late la. den pia lor. quite tired bahs. sat with qinzhen. qinz rawks. den we 2 siao siao. go orchard lor. eat subway. den go find my tie. $12.90 lah. damn freakin ex. went to take neos. the machine damn nice can (: yays. but we found out it was soon 1.56pm. so we pia back for lessons at2. hahas. they were 3o9 oei at the corridor lo. den i oei up. den they rachel oei back. ahahs. cool. den damn high lo. chiang brought her daughter to sch but she was made to sit outside lah. sian can. she said we were an influence to her daughter. hahas. quite true la. wahtuck stuff my penil box into his shirt and rub it across his chest. freak. and made nipple. hahas. den duno do what la. damn censored today. we had geog english bio n physics la today.cool yea. tml is maths and gan enshi (: wt keep seeing my notes to pple la. den he saw one. with ----- de. lol. was deesiaoing meiyi lo. she face red. so cute. she likes -----. hahas. den we made up a song. lol. lalals~ saw wenhuii after that. lol. snatching for cab with her la. hahas. went lot one eat. den go home lor. 630 ler. i left home at 7. god. met huey jia from 3o1. den crap lo. she gng novena for tuition mah. lol. got to know her better too. Den met Melissa.err. lee qing xia. Pri sch de. Lol. She still rmbs me. ((: deyi de. lol. looks like my star sign says i can widen my social circle these few days. hahas. yippe yea.

i love camp la.
i love my class.
i love my group.
i love 3o12 bus.
i love the trainers.

(:

2005-08-31T20:06:00.000-07:00

wheee. mcs 6B rawks (:
yepps. went back to mcs today. i think i was damn dao lah. shit. guilty. cus i ran past the foyer. den i heard the ex students callin ehh..rachel..think it was joann jessica asila that hot gang. but i was runnin hard to catch up with pam. so i din bother. oh shucks. feelin damn bad now. dao-ism. i hate that. shit. i was so surprised to see hazel lee. lol she still rawks. yepp. den began my crap session with hhs. den i went to eat. lol. i saw eileen kwan!! we jus ran towards e/o and hug. lol. shes 2 years my junior. but i love her all the same. (: denn.. i burst out lol on the floor with my rice and all the disgusting sai. cus i saw a photo which made me laugh like mad. damn farnie lah. shit forgot take photo. shall go back one day to take the photo. hahas. den went up back to 6B. god damn the table damn small and the chairs are so tiny. (: lol. memorablee. snap shots until the cleaner chased us out. den we met mrs tan ms tien and mdm khoo. lol. whee. they jus finished contact time (((: lol. i commented that gulaoshi looked damn short and her immediate reaction was: CHENG CHU WEN ( in chi ). lol. ok. atleast she rmbs my name lah. she 4gotten some pple lor. lol. yays (: shall visit more often. ms tien was shocked at my results terribly. yea. a top student was i in mcs. (: lol. den we snap shots again again n again. (: no ending de. den let the teachers off. went to canteen den waited and crapped. yepps. happy im in mixed sch la. and whoever the fucker who spread crap about my haopengyou dajie. go die la. blame that acy instead. he is a bastard with so many exs. fuck fuck fuck. son of a bitch. oh god. BUNGS BUNGS BUNGS. burning breasts and all. lol.we still rawk. yea. all that shuo bu wan de stuff den we went orchard. on the bus was damn diu lian la.hhs was like echoing the whole bus. treated leiping pasta mania and we bot her a gift. and hazel lee got lost! lol. badbad. met chanweijie too. and some other pple. liling from crescent. etc. went to take neos. hahas. met angel on the way lah. yays. we managed to squeeze 12 pple into the machine. pro eh? den i met sinee and kahhwee lah. so we took neos lo. lol. ((: nicenicenice. i went home after that. yepps. had an enjoyable day. too many other details left out la. im too tired. ohya. red bikini for meiyi today ((;

hmms. thanks leiping. amelia toh. dajie. fiona. eugenia. pamela. alycia. huisian. bernice. qixin. serena. nicole. hazel. eileen. and others who bothered to meet up. (:

im gonna screw chelk. boos her. lol

anyw. happy birthday LEIPING and QINZHEN (:

igonnalovecamp. grrr.

(:

2005-08-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

jus realised there are so much fuckin pple arnd me lah. ok. not alot la. some. so sorry i have to blog about all these things la. its my blog and u can choose not to read it. if u cant stand me or my bad language pls jus fuck off. if w/o those fuckin asshole pple. i would not be so fucked up la. some things u jus cant control and u must fire it all out b4 it burst right in front of the person and everyone would get hurt real bad.

yeayea. (: u get me?

to the box for the C: u freaking faggot. stop inflicting pain on me lah asshole. i cant stand it anymore. it turns out to be an ACCIDENT so many times i feel like accidentally giving u a tight slap. motherlyfuckerbitch. u want to fei4 my hand away so i cannot do anything liao ar? fuckingly imported from some zzzland nobody would even bother. u go fuckin die in the drain. i warned u if u hurt or inflict pain on me again i would bloody push u down the fuckin building and mash u up into a evil ball of pongpong limbs and taped u up with strawberry jam and yea. grr.

and you: u cant fuckin tie me down by ur side. i hate the way ure treating me like a dog. i will hurt ur weak fragile heart one day i swear. my blood wont last forever. never. you wait till u know the meaning of deep red blood. you selfish idiot. think of others first fucker.

- appeased -
yay. today got the groupings (: with jacky. jj. CLAUDINE. 2 bernices. weesze. eugenia? one of the twins i duno. ehhs. keelui. soonjin. and some other people i duno. oh wells. at least got claud and jacky liao (: yays. sad cus i did not end up with chelsea. ohmans. ):

im gonna enjoy camp
im gonna enjoy camp
im gonna enjoy camp
yes i am. *hurs2*

..

2005-08-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

the great lost of motivation to do anything good.

ok.ytd was.yea. FLAG DAY. i paired up with qinz (: hahas. quite full leis our donation tin. yay. hmms. went library to make noise after that. hahas. den i met my mum and 6th aunt. not 4gettin her kids who were driving me fuckin mad. we went to collect contacts but apparently the jiejie there rmbed wrongly. so i had two FREE pairs of contacts. u see. lol. im lucky. and the jiejie has two kids. i thot she haven married lah. god. yea. went bugis village with my 1st n 6th aunt. plus the kids. + my mum. hmms. i cant find a black tie. thats sad. shall try heeren on thurs. let me see. i bot a whole lot of things lah. my mum din stop me as my aunts were there. hahas. not bad la. i bought a cap (: jacket (: and.. *toots* stuffs. den we went to concourse there (: lol. i bot 3 pairs of shoes from DMK la. (: as usual my aunts made friends with the sales pple there. hahas. and they got the membership card for free lah. sociable thats wad i call. hahas. anyw. the sales people were happy la. hahas. cus i think they spend their lonely night in the cc building with no customers. and its so great that the 3 women came along and made them so happy with hilarious phrases. yea. dots. den wen went CLARKE QUAY. oh god. nice night life there. the extreme bungy damn cool la. but i din dare to sit. now thinkin of the camp stuffs gives me shivers. hahas. AND. CQ toilet damn NICE lah. freakin NICE la. yes. hahas. i love that place. we went to newton cirus to eat after that. it was like 1230 one liao. and not 4gettin i was in my sch 88th shirt and skirt the whole day long. (:

today. i woke up with a stomach cramp. thats so nice. good luck to those who have not gone red yet. hahas.

im gonna cut hair later (: yay.

to the condom user: i hate the way im bein treated by you. if u ever read this. pls stop callin me ur friend. i dun mind losing you as a friend. seriously. i called you up to talk but it still ended up in the same manner. im tired of life with you. once used. pls throw. dun expect that you can use me again. how wish you would be cursed friendless for a year. that would teach u to treasure friends. ( pardon me. i have to be vulgar ) if you think that your stupid faggot sterilizer is so good. go to her lah. why come to me when u need me. condom is not very SAFE. and fuck you. you only treat her as a friend lah. everyone to you doesnt mean as much. so stop acting u need us. daughter of a bastard. one day i would ban all condoms on earth. -ohscrewyou-

(:

2005-08-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

FUCK.
hmms. well. i damn pissed with some selfish moronic idiot. yes. that elegant highness of ours. yea. selfish pig headed. i know im a fuckin easily available condom to you. you want me you use me. you found another better condom you dump me. oh fuck. im not a prostitute lah. get this into your singapore dot size brain. fuck off my sight.im serious. and YOU. u behave like a slut. parading your short legs in front of everyone. and shaking ur boobs in front of the public. stop zzz ur way around the conversation. i feel like using the strawberry jam to jam up ur face.

ps. damn censored. and vulgar lah.

argh. sorry pple. i jus ren wu ke ren some idiot who has been makin use of me time and time again. i cant stand it liao. i finally burst it all out today. (: yes. and. whatever. i jus realized there are some evil monsters around me. why issit always me facing these idiots. i know i look blur la. but it doesnt mean i would tolerate ur unruly sights and be a chair meh or whatever. i can sense everything happenin around me and im sure. that you hate me. but stop treatin me like a friend la pls. u think i crocodile skin make one ar. import from india. i got feel one leh. so oh wells. fuck.

-case closed-
i went out with 3k after school (: hahas. ziyi vivien n yanjia la. we took a long time to eat la. and yea. hahas. we went to snap around clementi (: and we met qinz n carine. so they helped us take unsightly pics (: hahahs. i les with ziyi under a rong shu xia. shiok ah. hahas. den went home with vivien (: hahas. im typing all these rubbish here in hope to vent my frustrations and face that person using condom again (:

yay. my cherry jelly came today (: im so happy. cus it wont clash with camp. and i wont be staining the soil red. hahas.

:)

2005-08-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

ni shuo guo liang tian lai kan wo
yi deng you shi yi nian duo
san bai liu shi wu de re zi bu hao guo
ni xin li gen ben mei you wo
ba wo de ai qing huan gei wo

im crazee bout this song. (:

today. yepps. in the morning. oh god i forgot what i did. think.. special assembly. yesyes hahas. was crapping with brother n za. hahas. den came chinese. the most dreadful period i would ever want to have. i duno how to face gan lao shi. i duno wad to tell him anymore. i duno how to look into his eyes. he became a monster to me. a monster which contains hidden poison and would sting read bad if once provoked. hais. i hate chinese. the big contrast on how i behave during hmt scares me somehow. no rather. saddened. i never utter a word of crap anymore. i never did play or joke. neither did i sing or laugh. boring idiot siiting infront of monster gan. slap me.

4get it. ok. physics was FREE period. and yea. i found that it was too sian la. everyone so involved in their own things. all into cliques and playing calcultor all that. it was never like this in pri sch. i played calculator with meiyi. but i knew i will not win. so. i quickly used my brains and thot of a jue zhao. i began singing.. bu zhi dao wei le shen me... den meiyi was rofl. so i won eventually. *claps* i was gettin tired. so i found my hpy liza to do something mad. yes. i took newspaper and began makin myself a new costume (: hahas. xiao fei xia. currently inspired by 5566 xiao fei xiang. hahas. fei ya fei ya xiao fei xiang. lol. den happily i paraded around the class in the nice blackish costume. den i was too bored. so i asked liza to be my model. yepps. i went on singing the GIMME FIVE song by zsh. lol.hmms. after that the BELL finally rang. nice BELL. went with liza to do some admin CO stuff la. whatever. walked to bs with qinz. hahas. den I WENT TO MEET THEM.

-them- hahas. i was trying to communicate with my dear chelk but she jus refused to sms back. yea. bad. so i went myself to j8. i walked a ton la. together me n hhs went to find serena. ahas. den the 3 polka dots came. hahas. went to munch and yea. as usual. laughed real loud. typical girls school. did alot of crap. knocked into thousands of people. met fiona. (: and yea. nice time. went to take pics again. typical girls sch again. hahas. cont to laugh and all. den we yea. duno. dwindle here and there. den i went home with angel. I LOVE GENE HAiR LA. her hair rawks la (: perfect bung. lol. im les. help. ohya. sorry hhs for smackin into ur nice cups. hahas. 6B (: -chelkcheldhhsgeneangelserena-day's out.

(: weilian rawks.

):

2005-08-22T18:56:00.000-07:00

my results. i really give up. really give up. i did study. yea. at least more than before. its okie. it wont matter anymore. not anymore. i may just die tml. yes i will.

a group of people beside me. crying, tearing in agony. i felt at loss. what can i do? my tears wont fall out. neither will my heart break again. i have no more fear. none in me. the broken hope ive heard from you. pains my heart down right thru. i am lost. i really am. hoping for a holdin hand. i never felt this sad before i duno why im feeling it too. maybe its time i think for my future. i really should. oh god. give me a sign. i pray to you.

yea. maybe im too depressed or whatever.i was plannin to meet up with the 6B ers to yea. de stress and maybe find laughter within them. but yea. they were still in sch. muggin i guess. ((: so. i went mad at clementi with yingqiu. my haopengyou. hahas. we laughed quite alot. yeah. no. its alot. kinda hurt my jaw and stomach. hahas. i really think its a good exercise as we soon felt hungry after we siao-ed. lol. details at her blog. lol. www.fromdazoo.blogspot.com its kinda mad. lol.

on the mrt. i was so sad la. yeah. but as i mentioned no tears would bother to flow out. ma mu. MAHMOO. im really am. and i feel so bad. real bad.

i started a bet with seelek that we each owe e/o 10 cents if we did not revise chi o level la. and our plan failed cus apparently none of us bothered. yea. whatever`. lol.

sec3 camp. hmms. jus pray that. ----------- er hm. yea. lol.

when all the hurt
reached its limits
it wont hurt anymore
not anymore.

/

2005-08-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

i swear i will try not to cry.
but i realized to hold back the tears is such a hard thing to do.

upon my falling tear
will u ever realized how much u had hurt me?
i seem so strong. ever.
i dun shed a tear. never in front of u.
never had u realized i cared so much
or rather you never will
u turn me into what i am
u don't know
i swallowed the tears
i swallowed much more than you
you think im a stone
yes i am
a stone with too many cuts
way too deep for you to see
i rmb every single event that took place
right in front of me
speechless may i be
but it left a scar every single time
if i ever leave b4 u do
dont cry
i want u to be happy
i really do
if u want to go separate ways pls let me know
im still young
and i can let go.

oh jesus. save me.

i live in fear. where i have to hide the tears. i wan to weep so dear at night. but i know it would hurt you so deep inside. i acted strong i acted brave but it turned into an honest mistake. u said i din care about you. you said i was bad. you said i was evil you said i was mad. you dun bother to see through me. a broken smile it may be. forget it. i may jus die someday.

dun bother to love me ever again.

cry my sorrows
drown my sorrows
stab my sorrows

(:

2005-08-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

thousand of apologies to make.

hais. ive been doing thinkin these days. real thinkin. if i were ever born a boy. i would grow up seriously to be a real bad one. and thank god. i am not the rachel i used to be. if not. i would be in the girls home now. oh god. looking back ive really changed so much. from a quiet timid and scared little girl who doesnt dare to play in the playground and always getting bullied. to a girl who always bully and fight and sarcast and was made the vice head prefect and to be someone who loves dance so much and till now. i duno wad ive become. oh fuckin goddess. give me a sign. ohya. now to a bloody vulgar ah-lian.

its not my fault im so vulgar. heres a conv btw me and my dad this morning. u'll see why then.
me: dad i lost my calculator.
dad: what. how can u fucking lose a calculator?
me: i lost it in sch.
dad: the calculator is fucking big, how can u lose it.
shrugs. u see. hahas.

okayys. wthh. i agree im becoming an ah lian bitch or whatever you call those girls who talks vulgar and is vain.

i'll begin with the apologies.

my 3o9 buddies: hey. im realli sorry la. maybe i still want to say i cant fit into the grp. tho i appear happy its jus to please everyone. pls dun blame me as i cant fit into this type of surrounding. for the past duno how many twlight years, i nv had a real clique and i was friends with everybody. i could be with anyone easily and yea. everyone is my fren. but now. it seems that 3o9 is so clique-ful. i cant jus go into the surrounding. i rmb wad yq said to me. maybe that was true. hais. so im sorry. maybe we may not be friends till the very end. but i'll still rmb the 7 of us. and we yet to make our shirt (: im sorry for being me.

to gan lao shi + all the teachers ever in 3o9: i'll work hard i promise. at least im thinkin abt it now. hahas. yea. i hope to improve. sorry for all my wackyness and playfulness in class. sorry mr chin for my chicken head and long nails. sorry gan en shi for everything. gan lao shi rawks (: altho he always slap me or beat my head. hahas. he still rawks and mrs chiang rawks too (:

to CHEL KWAN: heyy. been ages since i wrote to you. sorry. ahhas. no. is u din reply back after u received ur card la. hahas. but ure still my best buddy!!! weets. rachel kwan rachel cheng. LOL. i knew u for 8 years. and we were best friends for 6 years. and still going strong and steady (: rawkk you.

sorry to my dear: sorry. wo ai ni.

and lastly to myself: sorry was cutting myself. sorry for crying. sorry for makin myself miserable. sorry for not practising the piano. sorry for being so fat. sorry for being not able to jianfei. sorry for not able to be satisfied with life. sorry to be outrageously vain. sorry im so wild. sorry about all the nasty thots. sorry sorry sorry.

arghh. sorrys. i lvoe myself and im gonna jianfei. yes i am.

outrageously vain-

(:

2005-08-10T18:30:00.000-07:00

jus b4 i leave the house.

ok. i totally agree with siokxin la.

pple who end their words with z are damn weird/irritatin to me/whatever vulgarities.
imagine. lolz. wo men dez.i hthink so bahzz. worzz.ahaz. damnz. cheer upzz. miselfz. siaz.
ok. i sound damn bimbotic. siokxin is right. lol. yesyes. i agree with her for once like in so many months. siokxin if u see this. lol. dun mouth it out. lolz. hahaz.
byezbyez. i gottaz go nowz. see yaz.

i came up with this post cus i was breading across friendster when i saw a testimonail. with those ZZZ. and i read it aloud to myself. -.-" inspirational? lol

bye peeps. (: i can see that im smiling again. yes i am.

ohya. i swear to jianfei by this nov la. to qinzhen: yes we will. but i think its kinda ex la. talk to you on msn/class some other day. (:

-

day1 part2.
my day was so erm. wow-ed. yea. wow-ed. ok. i sat like an hour bus ride to tiong bahru with all sorts of weird pple alightin at diff destinations. china town. clarke quay. little india. and yea. so on. when i passed south bridge road. i kinda fell like i was back in those 60s. and i suddenly thot of national songs and rmbed the song yangping sang to me. 4 people one table lets play mahjong. hahas. pri sch songs. den soon my mind drifted to pri sch. and i was thinkin n thinkin la. until i nearly missed the stop. i reached. and i did my ez link. and so on. and i waited for yea. quite long for a person. haa. ok.

to the person: thanks for everything la. you made me sound so like. scary and eccentric. hahas. maybe u did not help much. but yea. at least now i know how to look at things/people and maybe be more positive towards things/life. i not so evil to scold you la hahas. jus now say until liddat. yepps. there are still many things u dun know. therefore u cant see why i was so upset/depressed that i cut myself. i also duno how to open my mouth and tell you. maybe i'll write to you some day. (: hmms. yea. i will stop cutting myself err. soon. thanks for the cd once again. and (: ok. thanks.

on the way home. i think everyone wanted to shoot me -bang- down. cus i was playing on my gameboy and i forgot to move and i remain there cus the lighting was damn good and i could see everything so nicely. yepps. ohno. hmm. i went popular to get pens. and i saw a sad sight.
to the little fairy who leaves a pen every month on my table. yepps. for these 8 months. i nv bot a pen. from sch starts. i always find a pen on my table and the person doesnt seem to collect it la. thanks. and this is how it added to my collection of non-rachel pens in her pencil box. kind soul la you. the pen cost $1.50 la. its like. so ex. thanks man. if u ever see this. pls tell me and collect ur $. hahas. thanks generous fairyy.
as i was walkin around j8 jus now. i was thinkin of my blog entries. vulgar? i guess so. but pple kenah scolded. damn sorrie la. like wad the person said. after i blog finish. publish. i read the entry again. i duno wad am i scoldin also la. so. paisehh. i bu zhi bu jue walked until damn late liao. so i rushed home. and listen to the cd. got one track make me kinda sad. lol.

ok. i had a meaningful day.

wo men de gu shi
wo bu hui wang
if i ever fall off a cliff?
you would catch me.
wont you?

holy cow

2005-08-08T16:54:00.000-07:00

holy me -
ok. today was a happy day for me. i jumped out of my shell and i shouted and screamed and sang like a mad woman during the cheer. yepps. i did it. (:
i could do better actualli. heehee. jus that i slept only 2 hours ytd. hais.

to you + you: heys. why are u all crying now? its all over la. its makin me damn confused la. you were so happy when i was crying. and now its ur turn to cry.

to sinee. hey peng you. i dun blame you or what la. i jus like need time to forget things yea? why u take it so hard? okie. maybe i admit u did made me feel damn sad la. but well. like i said. it hurt so much till ive forgotten what hurt is. yepps. dun feel sad anymore. maybe ytd i was abit harsh la. but if u stand in my shoes. how would u accept the fact that my friend leaked out my secret? and i had to talk to you immediately. maybe i sounded like a mad machine shootin things out. but yea. real sorry i guess. i was shocked y u would suddenly cry today? i dun see the point of crying now atualli. i haf already forgotten everything and i was happily playing with meiyi today. but we were not realli close last time. so i could not like go to you and like say? hi? and put on a smile. maybe my coldness has caused you to be so sad? i duno lah. jus stop thinkin liao can? jus treat me as a stone. i have no feelings. i haf no more hatred for you or whatsoever. and i treat you as a friend. and i will see you as a better friend as time goes by. and eventualli we will be happy. stop thinkin pls. theres no turnin back unless you want everyone to feel sad again. (: go on.

to yingqiu: WEI! u rawk la! thanks for tellin everything. i feel so damn relieved now lah. i can talk to meiyi w/o any doubts or what ler. as for sinee. hmm. i guess we still need time la. and as u can see. she doesnt want to talk to me today. so i guess. i realli duno la. shes not in the mood i supposed anyways. hope u and her will be okie la. u upset cus u blurted everything out rite? its realli okie. u made her sad. but its better den keepin her in the dark as u haf wrote. i agree with it actualli. (: yepps. everything will be fine lah. yes it will be. anyw. yepps. ni shi wo yong yuan de peng you. (: thanks for doing everything. sorry for the tears. i dun wan you to be sad anymore. nobody will be left out. ! yingqiu rawks (:

to myself again: everyone pinch me. kick me. slap me. i wan to smile again. (: yes i can smile again. (: (: (: smile. rachel.

i believe the friendship has grown stronger.

):

2005-08-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

sorry i have to blog again. dun spend time reading pls. im jus a useless person bloggin useless things.

to you__* : im not referrin to you. really. actualli it all started when yepps you know. when i felt damn extra and all that. i told you my doubts rite. i duno wad to say. maybe i will be sent to a mental hospital. but whenever i think of those unhappy things i will be damn anti-social. when i said i din wan to join the cheer comp all that. you know how much i wanted to find someone to hug and cry? i know i am a damn enthu person la. but ever since i had the empty feeling of being extra. my whole mind change its thots. its like? why should i be enthu for the class when they dun even bother. maybe its that only 2 persons that made me so sad. but i felt as if the whole class is weighin down on me. i dun wish to join the cheer cus i hate the feeling of being extra again. i hate the feeling when i join the cheer happily and only to be sad again later. i hate the way pple look at me. i hate that i was so enthu in the first place. like i said. i decided to forget about the matter. but such unahppy thots can be erased so fast. and im seeing them so everyday. its realli difficult for me to be happy again. if u ever noticed. i cut myself quietly in class b4. it was to prevent me from crying and make everyone so sad again. now. i duno wad to do actualli. i duno how to face the class. maybe this will be the last time im goin to be enthu with 3o9 again. someone said i was different from seelek n sijie. but i thot. why would they be so anti. the reason is they dun haf enough frens for them to stay enthu. like wad im feeling now. everybody keeps telling me. i'll be there. u need help? im always here for you. yea. thanks. but i lost trust in everything. actualli i duno whether i got depression or wad. im worried for myself at the same time. you cried cus of me. i cried cus of you too. but i jus din wan to show. by not joinin the cheer com. im like sort of running away from everything. but i din know it would cause u so much unpleasant moments. i din want to hurt you. i jus wanted to hurt myself so much that it wont hurt anymore. till one day i'll be numb. i dun even who are my friends now? i dun even know who can i trust? yepps. i dun even know if we are friends now? i am trying hard to hold back my tears and i am cutting myself to hold it back. sorry for everything. but u are lucky. you haf sinee.kahhwee.ziyi.meiyi.liza. bernice.jas and the whole class. but haf it flew across ur mind that i have none of them. i duno who to turn to. maybe god made me to be alone. hais. actualli. i jus wanted to tell you. sorry and erm. i din noe it would hurt u that much. im really sorry. im sure this would be my last time with 3o9 and i would do my best for the cheer. i promise. after tml. i will be a new person. i believe.

-xiexie ni de you yi
wo ye hen gao xing neng ren shi ni
dan wo bu zhi dao ying wei wo de ren xing
neng rang ni liu xia shang tong de yan lei
wo hen bao qian
wo hen bao qian bu neng rang ni kai xin
wo hen kui jiu
wo hen kui jiu dang shi ba zhen xiang gao shu ni
wo hen hou hui
wo hen hou hui wei shen me ni yao jiao dao wo zhe yang de peng you
zui hou.
qing ni ji de wo
ying wei wo hui ji de ni.

to myself:
(: i will be fine.
cus i know im strong
my family is broken
ive gone thru it
now im losing my friends
i will accept it.
be strong.girl.
you will die soon.

2005-08-06T23:46:00.000-07:00

the new name for the person shall be THODY!
oh great. (: yepps.

today. shall blog abt unhappy things. prepare to see how vulgar i am. sorry but yea.
thody an evil teddy who made a bread's life so miserable. fuck thody. the person jus change my whole damn bloody mood la. im not like blamin the person or what cus i chose to remain quiet and go on with life. jus treatin the person as a stone and live with it for another one year plus. but no doubt i have to vent my frustrations. im realli worried that i would have split personalities soon. like what she said. u can be enthu de. wth. i know i am damn enthu la. sometimes. but seeing that thody can make me shattered into a thousand pieces. pickin up diff spirits before forming back and becomin a damn anti person la. yepps.

to kahhwee: not that i like that la. but if u put urself in my shoes. u will like zou tou wu lu. and like nobody cares. like u go bang against the wall also nobody care la. everyone thinks im a baddie. yes i am. i know. but who cares. hais. actualli i dun mind being alone.really. once i leave the grp it will be six. an even number. happy endin. yepps. no more 7. u all will be happier. actually i wish to die sometimes too. i have nth in the world worth livin for if i think carefully. dun worry abt me slashing myself la. i did that a thousand n one times. but nobody actually bothered to like talk me round that slashing is wrong. my first cut was when i was in sec one (: yepps. dun worry really. i like the feeling of blood comin out. rawks me. maybe u all think its v dangerous la. but its not. yepps. it provides me like a some kind of relievement actually.
hmm. thanks for everything bahs. you're a great fren.

-should i die one day
pls rmb my smile

actualli i still have alot of things to blog. but im jus too sad. yepps. my tears keep on rolling down n i haf to stop cus my dad would take me for counselling. so yea. i shall stop.

i know my tears
dun even worth
a word she said to you.

im stupid. ----> yes i am. very.

(:

2005-07-31T00:05:00.000-07:00

today (: went ndp preview (: quite alrite bahs. nice show. but i think abit too short yea? after that i went to find dance inspiration at the performance area. my eyesight not bad la. can spot them.hahas. (: they rawkk. hannbin says my mom look like my da jie. wth. k. im old. whateverr. hahas. actualli supposed to go off with my cousins. but den i wanted to find them. so my nice mom accompanied me. yepp. nice nice (: yay. damn tired this few weeks ):

thots for the week.
to yingqiu : heyys girl. not that i dun wanna turn up la. but lai lai qu qu only the few of us. i dun realli see the point of gng yea? and wads more i haf dance la. i know still can make it. but wad for go n cry n spoil my day. jus wanna close my eyes and drift to dreamland where everything seems perfect. i know i still have you. but they wld jus some sort destroy my wonderful mood and wipe clean the smile off my face for the rest of the day. i cant say i hate them. but i jus cant stand sight of them laughin happily w/o caring or rather clean forgettin about my feelings and the surrounding. in the end i wld end up zibi-ing. and she wld come. and the whole cycle revolves round n round. sick n tired. why dun i jus shut off from them. yepps.you get the point. n u jolly well know we wont come up in smth so fast. n i wld haf to leave at like 130.2? i went to yp hse b4. took quite long. so like. kinda wasting my time n spoiling my mood. so sorry la. yepps. so i dun think i goin tml ): sorry girl.

yepp. this week i appear quite happy. glad for myself. i hate 3o9. i hate lunch. i hate recess. i hate free time. i hate the sight of you 2. im a selfish bitch. but who cares. i may jus die tml. yes. im not saying u are solely mine. but can u jus care bout my feelings. i always thot i had you. but why would you always leave. leavin me in a lurch with no one in sight. ok. i may not be as entertainin as her. i may not beas chio or cute as her. i may not be such a good laugher like her. i know i suck. i know i cant satisfy u as a fren who brings loads of laughter. i know i know i know. but why? why when i thot of letting u go. u wld come back and appease me. and the whole cycle revolves my fuck up world. i hate it. i want a stop. i want an end. entering 3o9 is a mistake. i knew it right from the start. i wont do well. jus let me bang the wall. and i dun deserve ur sympathy. fuck off and slap me hard.

you wld not read this. i know. u wont bother. u dun even bother about an sms. i honestly regret being ur fren. ok. maybe not. rather. i regret allowin myself to think u are my good friend. cus it doesnt work.

im selfish. but arent you too? makes sense?

ni de bu zhi qing
shang wo you duo shen
you really made me
miserable
-oh screw you-

(:

2005-07-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

oh fuck you.
jiaxingxing-

ok.whatver.jus a short post b4 i go enjoy my day (:
i not gonna see your faces today. n im happy.

(:

2005-07-24T22:55:00.000-07:00

its my past.my table.my words.my pills. but im not the photographer. hahas. best brother. (: glad we patch things up. (: yay!

after these 2 days. i did some serious thinkin tho. yepps. shall be happy. no more tears. nothing is perfect. i cant seem to enjoy life. heaven seem to be punishin me. i cant get my way. but yea. i shall preservere. (:

hahas. (: i heard one very inspirational melody. my dream will come true. (: i threw a coin down the buildin. it landed there.somewhere. where my wishes are kept. rain or shine. it will still be there. until it is gone. it is when i fufil my dream. i promised i wld go backk to see it (:

http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=48206&action=Preview
nice tune there. belongs to a blogg. (: it made me cried. i duno why. (:

dang lei shui liu guo
hai pei zhe wo de shi ni
thanks.

(:

2005-07-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

wheee. my hair is spikedd. but i still not happy. wanted spikierr- but oh wells. thanks to my soft hair. hahas. yepps. i think many pple will burst out laughin tml. cus i look like a chicken. hahas. shall wait till nov. go dye (: shd i go shanghai? meiyi not goin. but got ziyi.qz. hmms.shall see. yepp. ive been crying for so many days. yepp. jus sheddin tears in front of so many pple in sch. mad. sorry to meiyi.liza.yingqiu.sin ee.kahhwee.ziyi. ): sorry guys. i know ive been scarin u guys. yepp. but. im just too stressed and frustrated when i see somethings/someone/somebodies. yepp. and i dun tend to control my feelings. so sorry i cried. and gao zibi. today. went to catch free movies. lol. quite ok la. but i like was so angry. n i wanted smth mad to happen. i jump into a pool of water with sand soil n whatever bugs. yepp. i got myself real drenched n dirty. and i ran bare footed. into sch. and ran all the way out from sch. in the beeeg rain. bare footed. qi hun ler tou. think im gonna get sickk. whatever. mad me today. shant elaborate muchh. anyw. thanks to those dance guys who tried comfortin me. but to no avail. actualli. yepps. I HAVE SPIKE HAIR. AHHH! okayys. 88th is overr. stupid me cried like an idiot b4 the cloth performance started. yepps. im glad i got the stick upp. (: yay.
hmm. wanted to scold someone in the past entry. but poof! my com went blank b4 i cld post it. hahas. shall scold now. tho im much less angry. here it goes. pardon me for the vulgarities. - you freakin bloody asshole. you think ur woman v great ar. i thot y u suddenly so kind and nice n responsible. its all bcos ur girl. if you think we never help in the duty. tell us la. dun need complain to teacher act wei da la pls. u din even let us know ur feelings can. so unfair to us. and they way u put it. as if U and HER doing duty only. i followed he fuckin duty roster and i do help to clean the board. okie. faggot. ever since i knew u complained. I DECLARE I WILL STOP SWEEPING THE FUCKIN FLOOR. and i did empty the dustbin. THE FUCKIN dustbin is much more dirtier den shakin ur butts and sweepin the floor ok! yea. u fuckin freak. i hate u to the core now. at first i tot everyone was wrong. they tellin me u were an irritatin bug. i supported u ok. freakin. SELFISH.CROCODILE SKIN. fuck you.

ohno. yepp. sorry. (: qi xiao ler.
hahas.

ying wei hui you na me
yi tian
wo men qian zhe shou zai
cao yuan
wo men de gu shi (:
hui fa zhan.

):

2005-07-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

): Its sad when u want to love someone else but u cant stop loving the one u loved first. im sorry dear. everytime ur name appears on my screen. i find the phone screen wet. yepps. thanks for everything u gave me this 1 month n 17 days. i'll always rmb the cute kogepans. wo (: ni. but im not good enuff for u. yepps. i duno y are u tellin me all the truth now? ure makin me feel so bad. y din u tell me all ur feelins earlier? maybe the outcome wont be like this. u knew n suspected but u kept quiet. thanks for being so nice. ohmans. i'll miss you somehow. yepps. take real good care and all the best. u'll be the best boy ever (:
ohyoubloodybitch.rachel.

(:

2005-07-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

wahas.nkf is over.yepp.kinda missed it x) hmms. they say they spotted me cus they spotted zhongyi first. yea. like wth. -.- hahas. had loads of fun with claudine n wenhui and the da mi n laoshus (: took photos too. but i need the blardee cable my dad promised me. hmm. shant exposed wad we 3 did. hahas. woots. the whole nite v fun (: woots. okayys. nkf fever. wahas. monday went to do bio proj. but i ended up playin piano at liza hse. ok. shibai. talking abt piano. ohno. hais. sch hmm. quite nice today. cus apparently im also doing some self entertainment. yepps. and some unpleasant thing occurred. ohwells. saw genevieve on the way home. hahas. is she bung? lol. anyw. mcs still rawks (: hahas. her hair rawks too. ohno. i think she is bungg. cus i saw her feedin a girl fries. while the girl already has a packet of fries in her hand. argh. lol. still rmb the incident earlier on this year(to chel kwan). yepp. this fri is mcs swimmin carnival. hahas. and dance. ohwells. i cant go again. i swear i will skip sch this teachers day. yepps. ive not return to mcs for ages. n now left miss tien n mdm khoo. ): mdm khoo still rawks. ganlao rawks too. hahas. ohya. was made by ganlao to sit outside class today.cus my hw not done. thats like sad. hahas. but i was not gudan. cus got liza throw paper balls talk to me. thx (: i predict another big clash is gonna happen. and i dunwan it. yea. truly.
duibuqi
duibuqi
duibuqi
imscarediwouldleaveu
idiot.

(:

2005-07-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

im tiredd ): on thurs had chem remedial with mr see. only 4 pple from 3o9 turn up. nice us? (: yea. yangping jiajun me n wahtuck. nice goody us.chemical calculations. i finally understand that topic. yepp. hope with more prac i can score well. *prayys* den we went to eat chicken rice later. yangping jj n yizhi competed to eat 3 bowls of chicken rice. mad. nono. jiajun ate 4 plates. mad. den the drink stall vendor so funny. lol. fri went mediacorpp (: hahas. the costume kindaa beeeg n exposedd! lol. we were obscene yea. den saw many artistes. lol. they all so thin.omgg. my jianfei ji hua pao tang liddat. ): saw sly. hahas. joanna pehh so damn tall. mad man. laoshi got realli angry ytd too. ): den went home with da jie +. yepp. in a cab. so good (: v tired. i went home findin my family asleep. and my wonderful dad who refused to pick me up cus he wants to sleep. yepp. nice dad. i fell asleep on the couch watchin wo cai. den my mom woke me up at 3. n gave me a scoldin.? i duno wad happen. she jus ask if i jus reach home. blah blah blah. duno wad she said la. den this mornin i realized that she thot i was missing. cus i kinda sank into the couch den she couldnt find me. wahas. its funny. i woke up. eat. den sleep again. now bloggin.hoping to do some constructive work later. hahas. loads of test next week. ohno. maths. hais. ): im too busy these days. yepp. kinda lost touch with alot of pple. sorrys.
cus we're livin in a world of fools
breakin us down
when they all shd let us be
we belong to u and me. (:

(:

2005-06-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

sch's startin. and i hate the feelin. esp. NANHUA. suckks. and i friggin hurt my freakin toe. and it hurts so muchh i cant walk flat on my feet. argh. in a pile of mess of white paperr. most of them not donee. yepps. dance today. i kinda slackk thru. toe was pain. and i was forced out of bed to go PA. becomin a peeeg soon. sooner or later. yepp. i was damn late for ffamiy day on sat. started at 73o am. supposed to meet jan n bervyn at 7. den i woke up at 6.47am (: lol. i took so long to reach sch. ended up there at 9 and had to siam all the teachers. scared tml will late for schh. hahas. my nails are cleaned now. looks weirdd. hais. i realli hate sch. helpp. july will be quite busyy. nkf performance. 88th anniversary. !ENERGY! concert! (: ! plus duno wad dance concert. lol. my dad gonna chop me upp. okok. shall go backk to the pile of white shitty mess. hahas. take care everyone (: and jiayou for the next half year. im gonna haf maths tuition. yepp. work hard. show that wongg. naggy noodle. hahas. evil. ohya. my haircut. anybody haf nice short spiky haircut to intro? ppls tell me. (: gonna cut on the 18th july (:

(:

2005-06-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

weeets. i suddenly forgot wad ive been doin this whole week. goshh. stm. im sufferin from it. ): lemme thinkk. ...? ohya. went lib n celebrate early fathers day on tues. ehh? wed..ice skate? shdbe. thurs fri? oh shuckks. im lost. saturday was mr chin weddin im sure. LOL. yepp. was quite nice his wife quite pretty (: hahas. and i wore a dress that day!!! LOL. was feeling damn uneasy man. ohmyshit. yepp. imborntobea b o y. seriously. den went orchardd. den went woodlands. the stupid ballet shoes made my leg hurt so muchh. ): played until 3am that day. mad man. den sunday. wake up bathe den go PA liao. hahas. so slackk? cus nv join ndpp. den abit sian. hahas. den went home. watch ENERGY. chatted withh duno who the whole nite la. hahas. all the np guys discussing abt np. -.- np sucks. dance rawks ----> soonjin. ehh. ohya! SOONJIN N KAILYNN. LOL. talkin abt her ooops. lol. after that left me bro wj n soonjin talkin crap till 1. haahs. my life like v meaningless yea. jan comin over today. to do hw. yepps, hope something constructive wld come out. lol. i doubt so anyw. hais. jianfei. yepps mad me. currently madly in love with energy man. (: shd start savin up the $$$ for girls hip hop class. hahas. family day. shuckks. schs startin yea. arghh. 88th. hmm. will go mad.
shang kou bu hui tong
tong de shi kong xu sheng huo

(:

2005-06-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

yea. my com's backk.it had a long vacation yea. my life. miserable?pathetic?wallowin in self pity.yeppp.dance.yea.wth.stressed.jus hope everything turns out rite. fuckeed.my results.hais.failure.shibaii.dun wish to say anything. frens. well. i duno how to put it across. i jus noe. im wu gu. yepps. thanks to someone who made me carry the burden. yea. i suck now to the whole world yea. its okie. i wont live long anyways. im a bitch. wad the hell am i doin. changin personalities everyday. arghh. im fake. yea. stressed. perfection. wthh. sometimes i look down the window. maybe i shd jump. yea. anyways. i saw ENERGY today. (: shook their hands. saw bel and others. well. i jus wish i cld carry on dancin. everytime i stop. i think of how life sucks. perfection is driving me crazy. dying hope. bleedin tears. sorry dear.i wan to be d e a d.
dang yi qie dou mei le
shi shi hou fang shou
si le gen hao
mei you ta de ming tian gen hao

(:

2005-05-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

nvr blogg for 8 days. wows. im lazyy. havin loads of mixed feelings this whole week. first.i would like to declare that i failed my three sciences. hahas. chem was the worse. 7.5/30 (: wows. shall find a tuition teacher quickk. i may haf to give up dance. well. prayys. duno whether to laugh or cry :] hmm. my dear outer spacee. jus hope we can be together forever (: and for her to be happy (: its gonna be the end of 5 months. time realli flies. i thinkk im gonna get retainedd. so. hais. treasure time with the 3ner9izers. hahas. sound so pessimistic yea? yupp. lessons. im not sure. i feel like a dead person insidee. altho i dun show it. i realli feel like a failure. all i can do is crackk stupid things to make pple laugh. thats. not good. livin in miseryy. hahas. nvm. i will overcome someday (: lol. dance. (: its backk. rawkin the dance floor. cultural potpurri. lol. ohnoo. all the standard drop. hahas. den now. kinda brokee. always askin $$$ cus of all the school performances + dinner. lol. the school eats moneyy. oh goshh. i still owe ms ang $. hahas. lalala love songg. its a nice song. yea.

si le dou yao ai
yi fen yi miao
dou lei de lei shui diao xia lai
ai
bu yong ke yi an pai

(:

2005-05-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

(: first of all. thanks to those peeps who made my bdayy so wonderful. and thanks for the gifts and wishes too (: thanks all. yepp. we totalli rawkk. o2o5o5. den the past few days. i duno. madness. my dearie mars jan. or outer space. whatever. lol. yepp. ytd. sch half day cus of speech day. woohoo. went k boxx. criedd when saw the jj hui you na me yi tian mv and tonghua. lol. always on my mind she also cry. wthh. lol. den on the way met dearie outer spacee. lol. den she saw a dancer nhds. letting down her hair. ohmy. disappointed hur? nvm. our conscience is clear. thats what matters. and she blames pple for telling others she let down hair. hurhur. chaos worldd -x. and recently. theres this idiot. who has serious attitude problem. and thinks he is almighty. crapp. makin fun of pple wherever and whenever he likes. insultin pple. wonder if he knows wad is a mirror. he shd take a good look at himself first before speakin. if his mum see him in sch. wonder wad she'll say. insultin the sch frens for influencin the son. to me. shes jus a failure that cant take her own son in her hands. open ur eyes madam. yepp. currenly pissedd off. i realized everytime i get real sad or angry. i will curse. die in the drain. (adapted by chelsea chang) dun hurt any of my brothers. i mean it. (: nice phrase. sound like a tigress. lol. well. ok. sorry. im a failure myself too. my piano. ohno. my grade. argh. everything is jus turning topsy turvyy. wonder if i could fix things backk. yepp. or rather..hope they will fall back into the right places soon. wanna go to the beach someday (:
dang lei shui liu guo
hai gen zhe ni de shi wo
dang ni jue de shen me dou mei you
bie wang ji you wo hui
ting ni yi zhi dao zui hou (:

(:

2005-04-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

yikess. went bugiss with jy hann dal they all. den on the way..saw gary and gangg. tml his bdayy. woots. lols. and i duno -.- shibaii. saww kaiyuan n ben on the way.den daryl camee. lols. we went to eat teppan yaki! and we saw earnest 3o8. oops. wthh. so they were gamingg n of cus we reach pa late. lol. so fun todayy. cai gao qiaoo! lols. loads of funny things happened as usual bahss. (: nicenicee. and. hahas. i finally can do qianfan again.. after weeks of failures. (: yay. hahas. so many peeps bday coming upp. includin mine. LOL. yepp. gonna be brokee. luckyy. jus earnedd $$$. lol. im happy with lifee. i thinkk. hope so. but i jus cant take my eyes off him. shuckks.
kai bu liao kou
rang ni zhi dao
wo xi huan ni

(:

2005-04-21T17:10:00.000-07:00

yepps. learn to xiang kai le. been spendin time with jan these few days. hahas. yeap. everything is running smoothly. im happy with my life now. jus that its just missin abit of dance. and my friends. yepp. made new friends this week. seems like being the only 2/1 in 3o9 isnt that bad (: got to meet loads and loads of new people. hahas. todayy. quite slack la. the day seem to pass v fast. maths was kinda ok. cus mrs wong lost her voice and all we did was copy ans. LOL. den chinese. quite interesting. niu che shui. physics had test. so time seems to flyyy. bio was nice cus alot of entertainment by brother jj. chem. was like s-l-a-c-k. hahas. was crappin with meiyi. (: after that went mad with jan. lols. now trying to finish up everything i haf not finish. okayys. sorry chel k if u see this. hahas. supposed to reply u the snail mail long ago yepp? im so sorry. miss u loads. ytd went sec1 dance. lols. hilarious. i wanna cut my freakin hair. jus wait till it grows longer. wait wait wait. yepp. shall wait. 11 more days to my birthday. + david beckham. lols. woots. wonder how it wld be like. planned to go changi airport. yepps. with -them-. rawkk it. contented shall i be.
ta rang wo jue de
ai shi dui de.

):

2005-04-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

okk. i duno what to say. sorry nhds. sorry mr low. hais. zhulinn got a goldd. and modern got gold with honour. ohno. yea. zhulin v lan. sorry. this whole week. dancee realli took my life away. hais. tiredd. tues. syf. wed. was helpin out for modern syf. ytd haf to settle this sat. performance things. today. sports day. and modern results. i duno y but i cried so hardd. yepps. congrats to modern (: yepp yepp. brought back the honour! but.. zhulinn realli sucks. omg. anyway heard miss yeo fell. cus she was elated that modern got g.w.h. ohwells. she was unhappy with zhulinn. yea. everybody is jus acting happy. we know. zhulin isnt good at all. think i no mood to dance liao. i feel like a disgrace to nhds. realli sorry to mrs wong and mr low and other nhds members. and i found out who the spammer is liao. fuckked upp lifee. today also kenaa counsellin from mrs wong. so i cant transfer class liao. tmdd. zhulinn. thanks loads.
durin these few weeks. we've cried. hug. laugh. everything. thanks. hahas. zhulin rawkk forever in my heart. yea. esp. the bond we made. all those tears. )': thanks to those who hugg me today. not forgettin 3o9 members. (: thanks kors. yepp. will try to hold back those tears durin the next dance practice.
zhulin yaya zhulin zhulin yaa
zhulin yaya zhulin zhulin yaa
zhulin yaya zhulin zhulin yaya
zhulin zhulin yaya
zhulin zhulin yaa! sha ha!
best er tong yue dui.nhds.

(:

2005-03-25T22:10:00.000-08:00

happy birthday dasam n qihui (: lols. went kite flying at marina today to celebrate dasam bday. tho he was erm. sittin down there chattin. hahas. me n wenhui totally gao siao today (: kitee. jeremyy. juncheng. lols. beachh. sundial. rock pebbles. pokky grass. yue fei sculpture. 1.5 bottle. mudd. dawg.food. run to bus stop. hahas. and counting tiles! lols. fun day with her n all. sorry was late cus of er-hm. shh. hmm. den made our mad way to kite place. lols. chi caoo~ den dasam n fren sit there talk. daryl n jx go fly kite. me n wh gave up after a while n went to eat drink n count tiles on the way to beach. zhenyu came on the way. hahas. we walk like madd. lol at so many things. -.- den kaiwei came. went to eat steam boat. (: den maorong zhiyan arrivedd. but we had to leave early. sads. den zhongyi came. ohh. hmm. whole half day was full of craps practically. hahas. had fun tho. wenhui rawkks (: die. i still haf hw to complete. arghh. cant get the tagboard rite too. hmm. im tired now! cheer up la brother-*lzw. yawnss.

(:

2005-03-15T23:17:00.000-08:00

yepps. went out with kahhwee.sinee.yingqiu.yixuan.ber.sijie.yiqi.lzhiwei.jiajun.wahtuck.n dear ziyi to watch P.O.O.H. worthh it. $6.50. (: so damn cute man the roo. (: saw audrey n mingee also. hahas. den played a fool with yiqi and the 3 gong kia guys. lols. shant elaborate. lzw was xiaswayin himself with hao bu hao and the "ypsign" all the way. hahas. yepps. quite a good lame-ing session. hahas. den went to meet daryl go PA findd me slacks. reach there liao find way to go in. hahas. in the end found the slacks in the locker (: den sit there rest n talk. hahas. den had fun changin bus stops. oops. finally. we took 985. yepps. pass siok's home. he took 153 n i had to cross the bridge. oh heck. (jianfei) hahas. todayy. nthh lo. damn slack. hais. tml dance start liao. jiayous. -worries-

wushuu.

2005-02-26T00:03:00.000-08:00

omg. today. had wushu performance at JP mrt there. omg. total disaster. yes. went out with siokxin b4 that. wanted to go JP walk de. den jieyim called n say go to dhoby ghaut collect dao from jeremy tan. tiann ar. nice us took the train back. den reach there. gong diao la. went to change. but found out my pants was too short. so took yilong's sec1 gym pants =) den met with yiqi sijie n zhiwei. waited for yangping. hahas. den saw gary paxson. den jj. si jin. qiyuan.. blahhhh. duno laa. den walk with the 4 bgc pple to mac. den met the rest of wushu pple. went off to ji he liao. hannbin wanted to change pants with me cus er-hm theres a split in front. den he scared stand in front v ming xiann. so change lo. mafan. but nice me still change. hahas. omgg. practice b4 that like maddd. den yiqi sijie zhiwei n yangping came! lols. saw themm. okok. damn xia swayy la. dun wanna elaborate on the performance. the gun part totally sa-lahh. hahas. ohwells. went back with the rest lo. stupid roy took many pics of himself with my camera. lols. cuteee. ahas. den take train back with my stead. dear dear (nainai) lols. 260205. mianpow first taste of wushu. hahas. not bad la. learn less than 24 hours b4 performance. goshhh. take cares.
wo zhen de rang ni zou le
xi wang ni he ta hui xing fu~

chingay

2005-02-20T19:38:00.000-08:00

- im sad its over - chingay 2oo5. parade of dreams. memories kept alive n real. i miss everything there. the dance. the liuxing. the lights. the hair light. the once-i-thot-it-was-horrible costume. omgg. i miss all of it. every incy wincy bit. my god. its over now. =( yeah. i felt orchard roadd. yes. shall blog abt ytd. went out with siokxin b4 chingay. den reached there. omg. we felt. its like a dream so unreal. yeah. got change and applied makeup. siok helped me write chingay on my back. and i smeared lots of diff colours over my body. lols. i looked damn weirdd. n messy. i even had a tattoo. =) den i took pictures. =) yeah. photographs dun fade. had dinner and set off to orchard. lols. the kind bus uncle prepared newspaper so we could lean on the seats. ( our body paints din allow us to lean back ) yes. reached there. alot of pple took pictures of us. i felt like a star. lols. 5566 de gan jue. den we waited in anxiety. hahas. went to the toilet again. in borders. pple thot we were aliens. hahas. with redd face black eyes n colourful body. den oops. we saw a man in the female toilet hahas. guess he was too urgent. yeah. i was v nervous b4 performance start. was huggin alot of pple. we took a grp photo too =) it startedd. lols. yes. the dream started. we crawled out like ghosts. lols. the fireworks came out and it was pink. lols. yeah. i din noe wad happened den. all i knew was to shake n dance real hard. my hair was loose n my lights dropped out. hahas. its along orchard road. maybe i will see it one day. memories. dance half way we went to the audience n scream. lols. everyone was high. yeah. i saw my dad. (hes a photographer n he was shootin chingay) i screamed for him. lols. siao. den while i was dancin i went to a motivater and shook her real hard. i think my hair was all over her face. LOLS. cool. den we performed 4 times. lols. it was done. omg. boarded the bus n felt like a dream. went back to m.a.d. studio at PA. lols. omgg. the dream has ended.

wo xiang tong le
wo ke yi ba yi qie fang xia
ying wei
wo bi zi ji xiang xiang de lai de yong gan

=(

2005-02-17T19:13:00.000-08:00

boos. rachel sucks. i think i better transfer out of 3o9. i am not fit to be in the class. the class so good. im a loser x. shd i quit syf dance? im not sure. hais. many things revolving my world. why should i care? sometimes i wonder why too. why shd i worry so much? maybe one day a car will just knock me down. and me will be gone =) my lifes miserable. yeah. maybe a car would just knock me down. im such a crybaby. always crying. im useless. so useless. i need a sign.
wo ye hen xiang ta~
ying wei ai ni, wo rang ni zou le.
jing guo le xiang yu he zheng zha
.. wo hai shi wu fa jiang ta fang xia~

hahas.

2005-02-09T09:36:00.000-08:00

boos. this entry shall consists of the past few days. =) on sat. went sentosa with chel-c. hz. jacq. ting. yr. py. jer. yili. mel. mk. caiyue. gary. JJ. hahas. real fun tho only 10 over pple. i saw my dearie rachel kwan there too =) omggg. we rawkk la. best friendss. too bad u're in st. margs. .stupid chel-c n hz dugged a hole and decided to set a trapp. hhahs. someone from st.margs. GB. fell in. ohno. i hoped she didnt sprained her legg. hahas. and baddy me went to repair the trap. hoping someone wld fall in again. evil. well. at the beachh. we met two lil frens. jade n jamilla? hahas. their mom is a lifeguard and their dad is a boss of sentosa. ;) dots. haahs. too many happy memories. o5o2o5. these few days sickk. hahas. CNY comingg. ytd nite was so full of happy new year sms-es. hahhas. so cute man. ohya. and the CNY performance was a total failure. lols. except maybe got one girl. who sang. celebrate. LOLS. happy chinese year =)

=D

2005-02-04T21:35:00.000-08:00

peeggg. DI rawks. ytdd was v fun. hahas. yupps. it so totally rawkks after school. nan hua idol n mocking at the 2 zhiweis playing badminton. lols. still got alot stupid things bahss. hahas. today. i was sick from eating too much pineapple tarts. pig la. had tests today. dance erm. hais. i shall work harderr.
i just realizedd how much i dun fit into the class. i miss 2o1. im outcast. i want to transfer out. i dun like the life in 3o9. maybe im not adaptable. maybe for the time being. i suck. loner in 3o9. no friends no nth. i dun feel mianbao in 3o9. maybe. i shd jus isolate myself. yes. i think i shd cus i suck so much.
i lost my frog. its in the dark. i know its my fault for losing you but i just want to let u noe i miss u very much. i hope one day u would jump back to me. i cried for u that very night u were lost. i hope u are kept safe n warm. i love you my frogg.
hais. depression. i suck i suck i suck. rachel sucks.

chingayy

2005-01-30T22:48:00.000-08:00

woots. ytd was chingay media conference! woots. rawkks la. went out with wenhuii. lols. den reach pa at 320 i tink. omgg. we are earlyy. lols. den saw harry kenniy maorong n zhiyan. omgg. they look so funny in the bat suit man. lols. den got change into the xiaogui suit. lols. so er-hm. nvm. the make up was horriblee. we look like demons. hahas. too badd no camera ytdd. gonna get a camera for chingay man. =) well..everything went well bahs. cept that my liuxing got cot with ling- n my light did not shine.n my face got smearedd n my shoe went off. hahas. ohwells. i found out that our item is that 15th one called zhong kui jia mei by dance inspiration lols. nice man. rawkks.ok. i was in charge of make up and all the plalets got lost. hahas. thankss to alot of ppl who helped me findd. tho ken did not do anything as an i/c. blahhs. thanks sisterkailing. reached home at 12.++ hahas. there was no more bus service man. n my dad has to fetch me frm bishan mrt. so i got groundedd. blahs. dance inspiration rawkks.
3o9 rawks? i guess so. with siao seelek. blur yiqi. cute chairman. dajieda kahhwee. knows-my-secret de xiaolin n qinzhenn. hahas. ohya. i forgot. N progia(???) yangping. hahahs. *must say thank you* n v v v noisy de lzw.
2o1o4 gatherin. woots. chingayy. dance inspiration woots. 3o9. hmm.
wei he zong zai li qu zi hou cai ken shou
ni ye hui nan guo
wang le hai yao
yi zhi dao zui huo~

=D

2005-01-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

rahhhhs. went out with kahhwee, sin ee, yingqiu, sijie n yiqi ytdd. took pics. so fun. yes. im gonna believe 3o9 is going to rawk. im tryin to adapt. i still miss 2o1o4. hahas. they came my house and gossip. LOLS. crapping la. yes. im beginnin to love my new frens too =) ytdd over msn i also told xiaolin a secret. she better not leak it out. hais. yeah. 3o9 rawks. gonna be bz for next week. hope there is no chingay prac on wed nite. i pray.
hui jia de lu shang wo ku le
yan lei zai yi ci beng kui le
wu neng wei li zhe yang zou zhe
zai ye bu gan jiao au she qiu le
wo hai neng gou shuo xie shen me
wo hai neng gou zuo xie shen me
ying wei ai ni
wo rang ni zou le..

=D

2005-01-20T19:07:00.000-08:00

=D ytd was siaoo. hahas. hmm. lessons was ok =) den had dance. ohwells. den rush to PA for chingay prac liao. hahas. on the way. SAINT esther helped me with my bagg. so nice of her. shes a SAINT. =pPp hahas. den bought mac on the way. =pPp nicee. den on the train. we were crazy. din noe how kaiwei pop up again. =) hahas.den deesiao him abt sly. lols. yes. the whole train trip was fun =) den reach there le. joke more with the pple. hmm. zhenyu n ks looked so funny in the costumes man. LOLS. den seowting so chio. =) hahas. kailing looks like me. hahas. yes. she went mad again. so fun laa ytdd. after that went to cheers. i bot YAKULT. =pPp. hahahs. den waited for daryl ks n zy. lols. on the way yongxuan n jialing n caiyue-lookalike turn up. hahas. den all went home together lo. reach home arnd 1030. den no mood do amaths. so die lo. hahas. overslp this mornin. today. change seats. hais. seperated frm yiqi n ziyi. nvm la. got sijie. hahas. yeahh. im depressed today k. guess some pple got scared. nvr see my face so black b4. hmm. hais. shall not elaborate. yes. everyday is a nice day la. just that i cant accept smths in life. -worn n tatteredd-
`ffallin in love with him* -------------> im stupidd.

dancee

2005-01-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

DANCE. yes. chingayy. im tiredd man. real tiredd. went out with wenhuii again. took neoss. yays. si ren zhaoo. so cutee. =pPp den went to shop for gifts. hahas. lameee. den bot one watsonn dawgg. cutee. hahas. den eat macc. nice hor. saw mingee n audrey n duno. hahas. den walk walk. den oopss* hahas. diaoo. den went to buy lollipop.. hahas. so cutee. and exx. den went to take buss. lols. met kaiwei on the bus. hahas. this is wad took place: we sat behindd a guy. den he kept lookin back practically every like 30 secs. yupps. so altogether more than 20 times i guess along the way frm bugis to kallang. such an idiott. so in the end at PA. me n huii concluded he is either junwei. or. a guy that simply finds us too noisyy. cus we were laughin all the way. =) end of story. reachedd PA. poor claudine dislocated her toe. b cus hannbin stepped on her foot. stupid as it sounds. hahas. den went to the fieldd and playy lor. hahas. playedd v v v stupid things with the tree. huii siok n me. hahas. lamekias. and the stupidd ma-ma compo by lianyilong. . and the pricky grass. and many more. den jibengong finish lian chingayy. hahahs. so fun laa todayy. but tiringg. hahas. den we changed in one cubicle with serene audrey me n siok. omggg. hahas. and chaoo swayy. when changin b4 pa i left my fone in toilet. lucky siok pick it up. den b4 i left pa. i left it in the dance studioo. lucky got my mianbaoo on the phone. ahas. den frm kallang mrt haf to run all the way back take fone frm kw. arghh. but then. wad made me touched was that the whole gro of dancers waited for our return so can go home together, omgg. touchheddd. gandongg. ahahs. xiaosam,weihong,wenhui,dasam,keelui,yilong,esther and SIOK. =) thanks for pei-ing mee. memorable day too. hahas. had loads of fun. and got new god-bro again. hahahs. yay. happy mianpoww.

=D

2005-01-12T22:17:00.000-08:00

hahas. felt like updating suddenly. realizedd lao tian ye is so good to me. ive yearned many cute friends this year 2oo5. yes. 3o9o5 rawkks. -yiqi -ziyi -sijie <> seelek- the maddest person who slaps me. sin ee- cutest chairman. lols. kahhwee- da jie da laa. yingqiu- her hair is damn cute. and she is cute. =) ohh. n huiqi. lols. tryin to know her better alot too. bernice was in the same pri sch as me in p1 n2. lols. i remembered her! good memory hur? lols. yupps. im tryin to socializee. =) hahas. well..im the only one frm 2o1o4. sad case. i miss them. yupps. caiyue came back todayy. hahas. frm NUH? smart ass. hahas. today was a LAME day for me. was kee siaoing with miss yiqi hahas. oops.* krapp walk- theres dance too. means more time with jan deariee. lols. yupps. dance was horriblee. i had to lead in the stupid warm up..it was jan's turn! arrghh. wthhh. jan..hieh hieh. lols. u owe me a big treat!!! hahas. omggg. apologies to weicongg n shibinn man. paisehs arr. kenah by mi umbrella. hmms. yanjiaa. lols. i duno why we were laughin over weicongg matter for so long. kindaa idiott. hahas. OHYA. damn xiaa swayy today at assembly. shall not elaborate -.- dance dance dance. im tireedd. thanks to jacqueline n ting ting! muackks. =) hahas. today is a nice day in school. 12o1o5.

frenss

2005-01-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

heyy. hahas. long time since i blog again? yepps. hmms. well..ytd had PA dance. the costumes suck suck suck. im too fat to fit in. omgg. we had it dyedd blackk. hahas. cool man. =) b4 that went out with wenhuiiii to bugis. hahas. took $8.50 neoprints. omgg. im so brokee liaoo. hahas. den we late for 15 mins siaa. =( was eating breadd. yes. so nice hor huiii. lols. yeahh. den dance again lo. quite slackk can say. den found out wed nite got practice. im like so goin to diee. 2pm-6.30pm dance in school. den hafta rush down to PA at 7.30 for dance? tmdd. ok. nvm. yes. todayy. hahas. 3o9 doesnt seem too bad afterall man. the pple there are real nice n cute. hahas. yepps. i tink all our teachers rawks, too excludin ms birdy cynthia ang. *oops. hahahs. slackk la. smth happened in the sci lab tho. im so deadd. shhh~ after school. was so irritatedd. waddeva. shall not elaborate. *i**h**. den went to bugis with jan n siokk. haa. met wenrui n qiqi on the way. so damn xiaa swayy~
to shanaa shushu: will pass u on wedd dance the neos. sorry harr. =pPp
to myselff: dont cry when u seem to lose a fren, god has given u more worthy ones.

=)

2005-01-03T21:32:00.000-08:00

longg time no blogg man. hahahs. yupps. okok. where shall i start. yes. countdownn =) 31st. hahahs. so shuangg. rainin. we were dancing on stage with all the irritating PINK lights. hahahs. yupps. so fun man. =) woots. best countdown. hmm. first day of school. nooo~ yeahh. well not as bad as i tink sia. hahas. made new frens like yiqi n sijie. yes. we gonna be one clique in 3o9 with ziyi. hahas. everyone rawkk. they say there is this shuai ge in our class. i dun tink so. hahhas. our class no shuai ge. =) hmm. i felt like a sec 1 todayy. counsillors making us play idiotic games. hais. nan hua sucks man. yeahh. its the first day of school and i had new tuition. nice hor. sian arr. lols. the pple there so dao me. =( there all so serious lo. unlike me. hais. siansiansian. and the teacherr is damn xu chun mei lookalike. hahahs. evill T_T. yes. im gonna study hardd. aiming for RJC. =) to all the peeps out there: yes. i hope 2oo5 would be a great year for y`all. hahs.
altho. i miss chelsea. i miss siokxin. jacqueline. tingting. ='( yes. chelsea!!! no more drawinggs. no more water splashing. no more tickling. no more eating quietly. no more everything. sobbs. ='( i miss 2o1o4.
to jan: heyy. must treasure the cardd ok? we had a tough time taking the 4 da shuai ge pics at PA. hahas. zhongyi! daryl. dasam. kaiwei. lols. shhh.

nvr blogg.

2004-12-28T05:03:00.000-08:00

its been 5 days since i blogg. too tired liao. on friday. hahas. went to had x`mas dinner at my aunts hse. so cool. pizzas. lamb meat. potato. hahas. yummie. den played bball with cousins. hahas. it was real lame la. den until abt 11.30 den go home. chat online a while..sms. den i zzz ler. den on sat~! Christmas. hahas. spent the day with jan, siok n bervyn. quite fun bahs =) went orchard. den siok had to go liao. so left me jan n bervyn. we went causeway pnt. ahahs. den there sian sian. me n jan decided to toa payoh. -.- hahas. den take train down. at khatib. my mom called and ask me go to my aunts hse at woodlands~! i jus took the train frm there. arghh. den went shop. den my dad fetched me at bishan =) that nite, hahas. da sam say wad conference..xia dao me. lols. den talked with da sam, daryl, jan, siok n wenhui. hahas. talk from 10 till 11.30 issit? hahas. so longg. den my cous came in and talk to me. wah siao lor. talk until 2am liddat. by then. i got sore throat liaoo..talk 4 hours non stop with no water. hais. sickk =.= den i bathe at auntys hse den went home online. den slp ler. arnd 3am ler. -.- lols. nt day. sunday. PA. hhas. so siann lo. suppose meet da sam at 2? lols. den late 15 mins. paisehs. err..den reach PA play at the grass and pondd. we were goin thru sioks hp too. den me n wenhui laugh like madd. wahhahs. lamee. me n siok decided to leave as it was too boringg. den went TP bot claud's prez. hahas. on the way home..sms wenhui.. hahas. lalal~ details not to be told. =X. hahas. taufik n sly rawkks~ hahas. ytd damn tired la. dance. alot pple never come can..the last row only got me n yanjia. hais. den everything was like horrible. -.- ohwells. den the annual exchange prog. started. was in the same grp as siok la. georgina in our grp hor. lols. den there was this little cute boyboy named aloysius. =) yes.. had fun bahs. knew the PA pple name. hmms. den liddat lor. got to watch the syf dances from all the schools. i tink ours realli suck. the other schools all v v v v v nice. ohya. met serene~! yeahh. serene serene serene. shes so cutteee. ahh~ -.- shes in crescent. din noe that man. ohwells. cant blame me. she was nvr in my class at pri sch. i jus knew she existed. hmm. den was real tired man. me n siok qiangg~ carry the lion dance drum all the way to studio =pPp *proud of ourself* hahas. kiddin`. took a cab home. hahas. :)
i duno why im just so depressed nowadays. all my dreams. hais. its either bout war or frens` funeral. :(

longg day

2004-12-23T15:58:00.000-08:00

mianpow.lols.nvr blog ferr 2 days.yes. i went to the airport on tuesday. ladidum. so nice. actualli is i extra go with my cousins. hahas. we were laming arnd n arnd at the airport. playin stupid games. hmm.. walk v long lo. the airport so cold brr. lols. after that we went to eat BK. lols. fatt. =X. so nice my auntie treat sia. den it was like 11.++ pm..we went to take skytrain. so darkk lo outside den we were freakin e/o out with ghost stories. and those wad if questions. eg. Wad if suddenly u see a figure at the top of the bridge? -.- lols. den they sent me back home. i watched wo cai =) such a lame show but its funny how it just brightens up my my thots. =) nt day. hahas. wake up in the morning. eyes cannot open lo. den chiong to pri sch. yes. that stupid eileen n emily. -.- kept pulling me. my hand hurts yea? lols. well..shes only 9. bahhs. den saw jolene. chiobuu. lols. den meet alot of my juniors la. i was like which sch u go? well..no one answered nan hua. bleahs. paula went to crescent~! join dance there~!! okok..lamee. got one girl duno wads her name la. she got in2 zhong zheng. hais.~! y nvr come nan hua. bshhh..samantha- hope ur appeal cheng gong ok? =) hees. den meet miss tien. haha. she slimed down wors. hiak hiak. den meet eileen low. omg. hahas. my tong ban tong xue for 3 yrs. so chio lo she. emily wanted go j8.hahas. shes damn blardee cute man. n lame. reached j8. saw fiona ting n alicia. hahas. all my hao jie meis long timee ago. lols. all grown prettier liao wors. brot eileen to beatty sec. hahas. diaoo. shant elaborate much man. lols. i recalled that i was late on the registration day at nan hua. hahas. late for 1 n half hours. pro hor. supposed 8.30 reach i 10am reach. cus overslept. shuangs. den i went home cus too tired. began to haf my beauty slp again. =) i dreamt of smth unpleasant. i was in WW2. nice man. hahas. today~! in the mornin wake up jiu bathe ler den went out with my dad to taka.heeren. lols. he want to buy action figurings n get inspiration frm books for photography. -.- photographers. -.- hahas. den go AMK library ler. im back noww. lols. tml my dad wants to go christmas shopping as in buy alot of snacks. cus hes stayin at home fer x`mas. lols. not me =X nahss. hahas. i know y my dad treat me so good suddenly ler. cus i got good progress award at NH. hahas. no wonder la =X. lols. $150. woots. pro me. lalallalala~~

to my very best friend

2004-12-20T17:49:00.000-08:00

to my very best friend

ive known u for 7 years. yes. 7. bet u din count rite. hahas. yes. i miss u so much. despite being in different school. i still treasure u so much as a fren. like i promised. u would forever be my best fren =)

remember when we were pri 2. i din liked u. i admit. hahas. i tink that time the only connection we had was char. bus 7~ remember? i was with nurnila nithya n char n verna. lols. remember those old frens. miss cheng. miss lina ng? u were with angel jamie wong. lols. class 2b 98` i noticed u. u always wore a hairband. and ur face was always black. i really din like you. i thot u were a bad girl. lols. we were seperated at pri 3. i din feel anything den. just v happy i was with char. den pri4. i din noe u at all den. u were with pugi. lols. until i was being hated by miss chan wan ting. i can remember her ohwell. she din liked me. char had to exchange places. ohmy. it was HELL. well. we din get along well yea? lols. den slowly..things look better. we were the best of friends. hahas. i din realli knew wad brought us together. but im happy it did happened. really glad. hazel,bernice,genevieve..all those mad freaks. we were havoc.we cause alot of trouble. sorry for pulling u in to the water. the ber incident. real sorry k? den we talked too much. miss chan said i influenced u. i was hurt den. at a tender age of 10. influence was a big word. but its ok~ pri 5 we were together again. at one time. we were like strangers? i forgot why. but i knew i was freakish that time. goin with majella, candice. so sorries hao peng you. den with fu he somehow. lols. i know. p6 was a memorable year =) YOU, huisian, alycia, gene. , all my memories. yes. PSLE came. we were muggin. the day came. yes. i cried like nobodys business when i knew i was entering nan hua. nan hua. my hopes were dashed. our frenship came to an end? no way. yes. it was hard to say goodbye but i guess we have to. i still have to thank u for many things. u took up 70% of my pri sch years. thanks for all the tears n joy i will never be able to forget. never will I be able to find the bond btw us with anyone else. i feel that god made u esp. for me? yes. u are a special fren no one can replaced. 2 years has passed. we met up the most 5 times? we din chat more than half an hour on the phone. oh wat the hell. lols. u are just like part of my soul? yes. u wrote a dedication this year for me. i cried. ='( its time i returned one. in nan hua. so many times i cried. so many joys ive felt. i did not forget you. yes. we will nvr be apart in heart. unseparable. I see many good years ahead of us. Im going to promise myself to make u best friend for life. till death do us apart. aww~ this dedication is not good enough. I hope u do feel the special friendship ive found in you and the bond we shared. its more than words. thats rite. thanks for all the happy n sad times u stood by me. there are too many things that are beyond what i can express here. but just wana wish u all the best =) miss you very very much. im gonna hug u till ur bones break. wahahaa. this post is dedicated to u. rachel kwan xiao wei =) a friend never to be replaced. =)

18.19.12.04

2004-12-20T09:51:00.000-08:00

PA~! lols. on 18th we got a camp. yes. but oks~ nvm. sorry hor..claudine =( thanks siok~ lols. reached there we dance first. lols. yea..dance =pPp..den arnd..8.30 we go eat. hahas. me n siok was laming arnd. runnin arnd from one end to another to buy drinks. haahs den we sat n down eat n drink n talk. so nice. hmm..we spotted a snail. we wanted to scare weihong but in the end he scared me -.- yes. i scared of snails. s l i m y. *vomits. hmm.. den me n siok bluffed a few pple that we were sisters. n i was 22 years old. lols. we bluff 2 tanglin girls. =pPp hiaks hiaks. but i dun tink they believed us. -.- lols. thanks to those who acted in the show too. lols. kaiyan n xiaoosam. lols. im 22 years old =) den da sam din wan to bluff with us. lols. anyways. we realized we couldnt finish the coke n gave it to da sam. lols. such nice pple. hahas. den we decided to play hide n seek. oh gosh~ such lame kias. jan din wan to come. ohwells. hais. siok la~ she hided in the chairs at the dark corner. actualli i spotted her. but i thot it was a ghost. cus her head was protrudin out of the chair. as i din want to scare myself. i did not dare go back n check. hahas. -.- den we found her in the end with the help of claud. yiting. n jieyim-.- im so shibai. hahas. den we played with water found on the road. got dirrty man. den we played spy. as u can see.. we had arnd 2 hours b4 ji he after dinner. hahas. i scared siokxin and she shouted quite loudly. ok..that got us into trouble. lols. den it was sioks turn to go in the room while i spy outside. lols. but i played a trick on her. den i scare her again. hahas. evil me. hm..den siok went some where with the nan chiau pple? lols. i duno any of them so i went away. lols. played heart attack with kaiyan jennie serena xsam jialing. lols. den ji he already =) hmm..zhongyi made daryl walk out with us. -.- so bully..lols. me n siok was too tired. we yawned practicaly every minute or wad. hahas. tired tired. when i got home it was already 12. lols. den waited for my parents to come back frm hospital. lols. den i slept. the next day was like hell man. i mean hell. me n siok was still like half asleep. hahas. my dad fetch siok. lols. we went to buy macdonalds =) yeahh. den go PA. lols. damn paisehs cann.. we 2 pop out like aliens carryin mac. hahas. we sat in the shade n eat. =) after that we went to the pond. ohyeas~ so refreshin. but we cause a disaster at the pond. -.- hahas. den we went back to talk to yiting they all. =) hmm..had some lame things goin on. lol. the run with claud n siok. hahas. T_T. yeahs. den we dance here n there. as usual lamin with mianbao qian bei. hahas. n went home. lols. we went erm where.. bugis with wh ky sam jn jw ky est kl. hahas. den we decided to go toa payoh to drink bubble tea n buy red shirt. lols. we met dear jan. hahas. she was goin orchard. -.- shuang laa.hahas. but nvm la.. we bot the red shirt. lols. yeahh. hahas. i went home n sleep. -.- den at nite at 10.22pm i talked to siokxin on the phone till 12. lols. yawns. den i slept again. now so early. i duno wad to do sia.. tryin my best not to go out so often as i want to spend 31st countdown together the whole day with siok n jan. hahas. yea..those readin this loong entry pls go down to jurong east mrt on the 31st at 6pm to watch us dance. hahahahs. -.-

17.12.o4

2004-12-18T13:19:00.000-08:00

mianpow. hais. =) i wrote this entry today as i was too tired ytd. hahas. met jan at j8 in the mornin =) took pictures =) yeahh. we rawwk. and we ate cheese hotdog. lols. den walk walk..lols. bot the tortoise. -.- lols. den marshmellows at mini toons. hahas. crazee jann. hmm..den cont walkin while waiting for siok. went to buy a spider earring. to me its nice =( lalas. hahas. den ate KFC. cus jan wanted the buddy meal. hahas. siok finally came. lols. den eat eat eat. went to erm..let me think.ohya..heeren. lols. jan bot me the badges =D. lols. so cutee. den saw huishan, lynn..and their frens =) lols. this girl sijiee..shes in my class nt year =) hiaks.. den i went to drink bubble tea. lols. jan..xiaa swayy..wrong flavour. hmm..got nth to do ler..so we walked to taka. lols. i tink the bubble tea cus us to vomit or wad. lols. den v v v sickk. lols. we walked like siao lang~ den reached sioks monkey. lols. but found it was too ex. so she bot that round coww.. =) so cutee. hahas. but must be careful hor... lols later ____* er hmm. u noe la. lols. ahhh...hao ke ai arr.. piangx. hmm..jan n siok so good. hahas. pei wo to find genevieve at orchard mrt. i was like dying ler. i want to go home..they asked me to fake stomach pain. -.- but im not so bad. so in the end i suffered. ='(.. lols. ohmygod. i hope genevieve doesnt see this man.. hahas. anyways. she go girls sch in sec. so i tink she dresses like a bung. lols. i was shocked. n scared. so i started sms ing pple to save me. cus i duno wad to talk to her liao.. i needed to be occupied. hahas. actualli.. i smsed alot pple ..but only few reply.. =( lols. lucky those few are those i hope wld reply. thanks man~ lols. i smsed jan! siok! CHEL KWAN! harry! shana! lols. yes. only jan CHEL KWAN n harry replied. shana replied in the night. as for siok.. she can go n die la~ hahas. no la~ she did not check her fone. lols. den in the end left chel kwan there faithfully sms ing me. hahas. thanks. U RAWK. i declare RACHEL KWAN RAWKS. lols. JAN RAWKS too. lol. yea..thanks kor.. hahas. at nite at msn u told me ur battery flat. lols. u were stranded in sentosa. scare me siaa. hahas. anyways. THANKS. =) den we went to watch sunyanzi. =pPp..waited quite long lo~ den erm..she came ? lols. i didnt wan to wait in the rain.. so i went in to heeren. den i saw yanjia n kaisheng. hahas. den stayed with them la. hahas. kaisheng has an umbrella. woots. =) den we could not raise the umbrella lower as it wld destroy his hair. but he kept dee siao ing yj by sayin hes tall. me n yanjie was like hi-5ing that we can see sunyanzi hahas -.- den.. gene found me =S. so left with her laa~ =( dun wana go in details ler. =) den.. erm.. my ah gong got stroke..den hospitalized... =(.. reached home at 7 plus 8 lo.. den after i bathe. my dad asked me to go hospital. can diee la~ hais. but i still went. hahas. reached there bout 9.30 waited with my mom till 12.30 hahas. sian lo~ anyways. was real tired went i got home. shuggs. so i did not update. =( im tired. later still got chingay. after that still got my cous bday party leis. hais. im real tired ler. *knocks off*

tears

2004-12-17T00:04:00.000-08:00

hais. im pretty down today. well..its not a good day i supposed. =) started off the day with piano at 8am. gosh. damn early. i woke up at 7.11am. so was late =) den i watched tv till erm..2pm? lols. thats so nice. well..went online.. =) den chatted with jan =) my dear. and went to slp.woke up at 6.59pm. and realize my pillow was all wet. =) i realized i cried. ='( stress reliever man. =) yupps. at night. nth. im bloggin now. hahas. today is a bad day. suicide. death. tears ..

suicide

2004-12-16T15:05:00.000-08:00

yes. im thinkin bout suicide =) death is just about bringin u home. =) maybe all sorrows wld end there =)
there is nth more for me treasure in this world. no friends. no family. no nth. im not rich. so there is no money. yea. i haf nth. mebbe i shd just die. it wld save my parents the fees of bringin me up. and pleasure for pple who hate me. =)

im tired.pissed.

2004-12-15T23:14:00.000-08:00

ohwells. woke up late today. 8.45am..-.-for me..its considered late. den i watched tv till 3.30pm. thats just so great rite? wednesday rawks. i planned to practice my piano. but i went online instead. -.- den i went to PA for chingay prac. oks. yeah. i was pissed by an idiot. that woman* she just sucks to the core ok? whatever. im postin another entry esp. for that woman later. just to vent my anger here. so sorry pple. i cant tok to anyone bout this matter except jan laa. and jan..dun leak it out. it wun do any good. hahas. yeah. that freako*. hmm..i did loads of qianfan today..die ler..its gettin worse w/o practice..dance..was playin arnd with xiuling aka liuxing pigu aka my qian bei aka mian bao. hahas. T_T.yea.u hit my butt first with ur hands today =(..chingay ended early. 9pm. so shuangxx. but me wh claud n sx stayed till 10pm. hahahs. thats so lame. hahas. okok..was practising things. well. as usual. i slacked. yeas. i just lamed arnd with wh. and helped to support claud. n pushed wh. hahas -.- . yeahh. den.. hahas. went backk. on the way. wh borrowed my $3. hahas. i was left wuth $4. lols. yea. thanks. but nvm. shes leavin for m`sia tml ler. hmm..den i duno wad went wrong..but we walked frm one end to another in the train. hahas. -.- den i went home with sx. yupps. was sms ing jan n alycia all the way. alycia is lame. she asked me to call her when she is richer den me. =) hello. lols. den jan..hahas. was chatting. yea. thanks for consoling me all bout the neos by ur bed and stuff =) muacks. den i walked home. witnessed an accident. hahas. dun ask me abt that..cus i scurried away. =) thats all.

fun day

2004-12-14T18:51:00.000-08:00

mianbaoo. yeah. went out with chelk hhs n michelle today =) yea. so fun. met chelk on the 410 bus to j8. we were laming all the wa =( den..we hide frm hhs. hahas. i thot she was a man so i din hide. in the end. she saw me. lalas~ den met mich.went all the way to cine. den on the way. hhs was hungry..so we are forced to move faster. hahas..but chelk walk v slow hor. lols. den a man approach. ohwellls. $5 gone frm us. argh. den headed all the way to but movie tickets. yea. national treasure rawks =) went to eat LJS. talked abt teachers. =X xiaa swayy..den chelk faked the movie ticket was lost. hahas.den we went heeren. approach by another guy. -.- we went to take neos. =) v nice bahs. hahas. ohh. den hmv. lols. sry hhs. played a trickk on u. -.- lols. anyways. we saved u yea? den went all the way back to cine. den eat again. hahas. cus hhs want eat. den eat lor. eat KFC. only she eat. we drink. hahas. den alot things happened. so lamee. hhs shoke the cup of ice and ice flew out. claps. and chelk keep doin lame things which make no sense. hahas. i needed the toilet so we headed there. however. V V V sotong hhs. thot there was no one in the toilet. and began singing. " LAME" she went: hahahs. i can sing soprano. and she went v loud n high pitch. hahas. i bet the other 2 pple in the cubicle were laughin stheir head off. diaoo..den we went somewhere in the movie lounge. shit. T_T we opened up a curtain when inside got pple. den we ran away out of fright. we wanted to escape in the washroom. however it was locked. we hit the door v hard. in the end we had to ran again. hahas. on the way..saw elaine frm nhss 2o3? lols. yeaa. the movie started. we played a game created by Marymount convent school 6B o2. hahas. PASS. yea. realli xiaa swayyy. the movie started. halfway thru my hand got numb. so i tried ways to change position. hahas. real diu lian. the movie end liao. =( sads. den went to eat again. as mich wants too. hahas. den eat KFC again. hahas. siaoo. den got approach by a guy again =( hahas. donations..den went back to j8. so shocked. i saw wanyi n her stead? or her fren? lols. she looked pretty in make-up. hahas. today was v fun. lols. yea. today rawks too =)

freaakk

2004-12-14T06:08:00.000-08:00

this is freakky.

thanks loads T_T

2004-12-13T23:33:00.000-08:00

THANKS

hahahs. realli thanks man pal. =) most of them are ur hard work. so this entry is dedicated to u* yes u* jan. lols. ok..we are madd today yea? so fun. invite me to ur hse leis. hahahs. *hinthint* hmm..well..many thanks =) so sowwies. i cant buy bervyn neither the beeeg tortoise. but i can bring u many qianfans n happy returns of the day =) hahahs. yeahh. mudd. mudd. lols. hmm..

well. i din noe when i met you. lols. bus 97. yeah. thanks to wenrui n siokxin rite? =) okiess. at first. we were not even frens. but dance brought us closer =) yupps. the first few 97 rides with u was weird. lols. slowly..we became closer. =) den dance began. we were closer. waiting for e/o after school every day to take 151. hmm..became good frens rite? learnin gun all together. 2003 was over. so fast.

2004. got realli close to u. hmm. a day without someone wld mean less laughter.the first few months were ok as we did not go crazy together. den valentines day came. u bot a glass thing with bear. lols. many things occurred. the outings we had after school. the pasting of ez link on boxes. long john silver. fabric after exams. ur superb eyesight.hahas.

everything seemed fine until wr left us. thank u for standin by me =) the time was long. but thanks for walking with me side by side. =) she left us finally. hahas. we did had fun together tho. =) yes. the times spent were memorable. nobody expected this outcome. sad.

hmm..those chats on msn. lols. qianfans we did. shoppin we did. hmm..131204.yea. i tink i felt closest to u today =) hahas.

just wanna say. THANKS for staying by me thru the times i needed help. THANKS for the laughter u gave me. THANKS for the lendin a helpin me to me in dance. THANKS for accepting my mood swings. THANKS for listenin to me complain. THANKS for waiting for me at bus stops. THANKS for your presents. THANKS for ur care n concern. THANKS for ur frenship. THANKS for ur presence in my sec life. THANKS for adding colours into my life. THANKS for making me happy. THANKS for making me feel the most fortunate person to have befren u..last but not least. THANKS for reading =)

im finishin off. altho this entry not touchin enuff. but i hope u noe i treasure u. =)

crazees

2004-12-13T20:08:00.000-08:00

mianbaoo. jan came my hse today =) hahas. we took neoprints. yea =) we rawwk =) its quite nice lo agree? hahas. and we saw the tortoise =X lalas. yea..hmm. hahas. honestly..i think only jan understands this entry. hahhas. cus we are damnn lame. hmm..yea..saw frm smalll to beeg. hahas. yeaa..we sian arnd j8. hahas. den went my hse. yea. thanks jan for helping me with this blog. we spent 2 hours on it yea? lols. yeaa. sorry to *jian de.* shruggs. i duno hus that anyway. sry for dee siaoing u all the way. hahas. who ask u hack in2 ppls acc. and HHS. well.. lols. doubt u'll see this. just sorry yea? hahahs. stupid jan T_T. hahas. yea. and we came up with this sign T_T. hahas. cutee. jan this crazee freako did qian fan in my hse. my room. lol. i was hiding in one corner. bleahss. piakpiak. den went down playground. she was maadd. i tink jan did 20 over qian fans. arghh..den i was there xia-ing yaoo. *ouchhs. den did bout 5 qian fans. mostly on the grass. yikess. i stained my shorts with MUD. stupidd. anyways. hahas. lucky can wash off man. yea. this is all for my first entry. =pPp.

this is lamme.

2004-12-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

hees. well. first entryy. =) test.